Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? With teamwork and coordination, each could place one foot on the seat, and they can all stand up using each other for balance and support. The fact that they are gay in unimportant.

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A horse and a penguin and a kangaroo come into a bar and order drinks from the bartender, who later gets fired for taking acid while working.

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What's the difference between an airplane and a cantaloupe? What? Wow your a dumby head.

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What does the fox say? Nothing a fox is incapable of speech.

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What do you call a Welshman with a stick up his arse? A very odd man

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My ex wife looks like a pitbull.

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How do you get a person to jump off a cliff? You push them.

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What did the kid tell his father? Go away, I'm watching elmo!

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Knock knock. Who's there? Big Brother. Big Brother who? That's right. ALL are who, Akbar!

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A young boy walked in on his mom and dad in their room lastnight They were having a leisurely evening playing scrabble

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What did God say to Adam and Eve? Be fruitful

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What's worse than strapping 10 dead baibes to a tree? Strapping a dead baby to 10 trees.

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Q: How do you eat a dead baby? A: One piece at a time.

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What did the aborted fetus say to the recycling bin? Nothing because it isn't capable of speaking, and it was in the dumpster

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Ask me if I am a tree. "Are you a tree?" No.

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What did the snowman say to the other snowman? Do you smell carrots?

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How many electricians does it take to fix a light bulb? One

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What do you call a jew in an oven? A safety hazard

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John is at the movies, when he drops his cookie on the floor. A passer-bier accidentally steps on it as he's about to pick it up. "Sorry" says his man. "I guess that's the way the cookie crumbles" said Terry. The man then proceeds to murder Terry.

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A princess kisses a frog to acquire a prince. Then gets arrested for beastiality.

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how do you make a cat get out of a tree you shot it

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A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism.

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A man questions wether a cat will always land on it's feet. He takes a cat from a pet store and tosses it into the air. The cat lands on it's feet. Startled, the cat runs into the street and gets hit by a car. The man goes to prison for theft and animal abuse.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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