There was a blonde driving a car but she was late to a meeting so she started speeding but then a police officer pulls her over. The officer asked the blonde "Do you know how fast you were going?" to which the blonde responded "Yes, I am late to a meeting" so the police gives a ticket for speeding and she ends up going late to her meeting.

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What the difference between a circle and a triangle? You're an idiot if you don't know the difference.

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i like turtles

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[Insert anti-joke here]

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What would George Washington do if he was able to talk to all of America? Ask them to dig him up.

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Whats worse than getting a B+ in Biology? Getting raped by a scorpion.

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. . I am a whale

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an old lady walked into a bar, used the bathroom and left. THE END

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How is a raven like a writing desk? Both have absolutely nothing to do with the other one.

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Why did the bus drop his icecream? He was hit by a boy

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Why was Joe lying on the ground? Because he got shot.

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What do you call a deer with one eye? Nothing. The deer was transported to a specialist animal hospital and now has two working eyes, eliminating the purpose of this joke. We apologise for wasting your time.

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A woman walked into a club. Or at least, that's what her abusive boyfriend told the police.

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why did the couple sell their house? their children were all raped and then murdered in it and they cant stand the memories

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troll lololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololol.olo90ololol.o.ool.olololol.ol.ol.ol.ol.ol.ol.ol.ol.ol.o.o.lol.ol.ol.ol.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I'm a schizophrenic, and so am I.

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what class did Jimmy get an A in? None, he is dyslexic

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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What did the boy say to his dad when he realized he was gay? Dad, I'm gay.

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What's green and looks like a forest? A forest.

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chuck norris multiplied by zero equals zero.

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Why was the man lying under a sheet. Because he was dead.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Why? Because she has no arms. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Sally

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Texas! You are doing it the wrong way! Learn from Hitler, gas is cheaper.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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