whats black? the colour

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What does and elephant and me have in common. Everything, I am an elephant.

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Jesse's mom is so god damn fat that it is an extreme danger just being around her

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what is bad about being a black jew? you have to sit in the back of the oven

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Q. Why did Jimmy fall off his bike? A. Because he had alzheimer's and couldn't remember how to ride a bike.

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How do you describe a cranky rapist? Cranky and rapist

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A guy walks into a bar. The second guy ducks.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? That depends on a variety of factors.

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Why were there only 5,000 Mexicans at the Battle of Alamo? They only had 1250 trucks.

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What do you call a man who never farts in public? A private tooter!

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roses are red, hills are green. i know you're ugly and i know I'm so mean.

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How do you scare a black man? You dont

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. I don't stalk him on normal days because that is both weird and illegal, thus I cannot come to a conclusion to what he does on opposite day. However, since he is lonely, I hypothesize that he must do something social, since the opposite on that is lonely.

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Why are women such horrible drivers? Their hair gets in the way.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because he was content where he was.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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What did the plane say to the world Trade Center on 9/11? Nothing a plane is an object therefore cannot talk.

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What do you get when a man farts then a giraffe digests the gas and then poops into the mouth of a rabid baby raccoon? A raisin coated in corn flakes with digestive fluid sauce.

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How did Helen Keller burn the side of her face? She didn't use enough sunscreen.

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why did the chicken cross the road? he was stapeled to a cow and the cow got hit by a bus so they died.

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ever tried african food? they neither

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How many chickens does it take to screw in a light bulb none, because chickens do not have opposable thumbs,therefore prevents them from preforming such a remedial task.

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What do you get when you cross a rooster with a cocker spaniel? Nothing, because roosters and Dog's don't mix.

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Why was the asain studing? Because he had a 59 in math and needed a C to tay on the footbal team.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops