Why did the man read the terms of service? He had ignored them before, and was forced into a scam where a shady organization took all of his money and possessions. With no other way to provide for his family, the man began selling drugs, which led to several arrests. He has been n prison for 3 years now... His wife has left him for one of the man's close friends

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Whats worse than hard cheese?Cheese DUH

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Why did the car break down? Because breakfast was done.

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What's worse than finding half a suicide tablet in your apple? Finding half a worm.

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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Why can't dogs fly? Because they do not have wings.

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What is the worst part about dying? no-one cause no-one has ever survived dying to know what it is like so how is it possible that I would know

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Where do penguins keep their money? No where. Penguins don't have a money economy

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What happens if you accidentally say your best-male friend's name instead of your boyfriend's name during sex? Nothing, they're both named Adam.

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A black and a white man walk into a grocery store the black man buys fried chicken and the white man buys vegtables. The men both have different opions and enjoy different food groups.

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I can't stand being in a wheelchair.

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Why couldn't the cat drink it's milk? Because it didn't have a face.

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Why do asians get good grades? Because they study very hard and want to achieve success so they can provide for their families.

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An Englishman, a Scotsman and a Welshman are all in the Great Britain Olympic squad,

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Why did little jimmy fall of his bike? His grandma threw the refrigarator at him.

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What do you call a mix between a mexican and a octopus? Actually, at this moment in time it is physically and morrally impossible to do such a thing. Scientists have yet to find a way to split the genes and create a cross species. lol jk its called a moctapus.

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A man decided it was time to quit his job so he put his 2 weeks in and went to look for another job.

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What is the funniest shirt Emil heskey has ever worn? A shirt that had this joke on it

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What time is it? It depends in your location and time zone

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What were the murderer's last words before he was put to death by electric chair? "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH NNNNNFHGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.................................................................................................................." He then defecated in his pants.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Some chocolate and a new DVD.

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Why did the blonde stay in the five-star hotel? She had enough money.

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Roses are grey. Violets are a different shade of grey. Let's go chase cars. -Dog

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A guy walks into a psychiatrist's office covered only in Saran Wrap. He asks the doctor, "The strip of metal teeth is missing from the box, so could I borrow your scissors?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops