Ask me if I'm on a horse. Are you on a horse? Yes, are you on a horse? No. Oh...

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Why did the mans nuts itch he had crabs

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Nero, I am happy to hear from you again, but it kinda sounds like you are going to get yourself killed or something. Is there something else I can do? If that asshole is suffering, kill him after he is done doing it, I am done with that piece of shit. Honestly, what is going on Nero? You are not going to suicide or something are you? Please respond, right away, or I wont call your wife.

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What did the little Jew boy get for Christmas? nothing he is a Jew, he doesn't celebrate Christmas.

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Q. How many blondes does it take to put in a lightbulb? A. Cause of 7,8,9!

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Patient: "Doctor, I've got a strawberry stuck up my bum." Doctor: "I've got some cream for that."

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what looks, smells, and sounds like red paint? blue paint, I lied about it being red

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Q: What's worse than being stung by a bee A: The Rwandan Genocide

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1 white girl and 2 black men -TRAGIC

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Why are all the dinosaurs extinct? Because you touch yourself at night,

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Stephen Hawking is so paranoid, always looking over his shoulder.

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a man walks into the doctors office and says DOCTOR!, DOCTOR! IT HURTS TO BEND MY LEG!!! the doctor replies then dont bend your leg and the mans great pain eventually heals

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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An Englishman, a Welshman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are all stranded on a desert island. After several days spent utilizing the survival skills they had been taught in the Royal Navy, they were eventually evacuated by fellow sailors searching for them. As the only survivors, their stories were vital in preventing such shipwrecks in future.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I'm Schizophrenic And so am I.

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Why did the chicken cross the road .... The traffic light turned red

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What's the difference between a Gay Man and a Straight Woman? Anatomy.

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Why was the doctor unable to perform his surgery properly? Because he forgot his scalpel

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what did the woman say when the guy told her he liked her christmas tree? thank you.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Q. Why did the man get an email? A. Because he checked his inbox.

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Whats worse then dieing and going to hell? Waking up and going to school.

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What do you get when you cross a Minotaur with a snowman? A cold mythological creature.

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What would Osama Bin Laden be doing if he were alive today? Drowning

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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