Q: What did the vomiting man say to his friend? A: BLEEEAAARRRGGHH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to his wife? A: BLAAAARRRRRGGGHHH!!! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the waiter in the restaurant? A: BLAAAAAARGH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to Leonardo DiCaprio? A: BLEEEEAAAARRGH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the convenience store clerk? A: BLAAAAAARRRGGGGHHHH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to your mom? A: BLAAAARRRGGGHH!!!! Q: What did the vomiting man say to Barack Obama? A: BLAAAARRRRRGGHHHH!! Q; What did the vomiting man say to the King of Saudi Arabia? A: BLAAAAAAAAAAAEEEAAARRGH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the bartender? A: BLLLEEEEAAAARRGHHHH!!! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the funeral home director? A: BLLLEEEAAAARRRGGGHHH!!

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KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? all my friends break the door down...oh alright then ill answer i guess WHO IS IT? THE REAPER oh s*** dude! [panic face] NO ONES HOME? "In other news tonight, 2 local men found murdered in their living rooms, after looking up common joke style called anti joke. Police say the door was smashed in an obvious sign of forced entry. They seem to have just mysteriously had sudden heart attacks and fainted. heh heh...hey nancy....why did the chicken cross the road? [=< heh heh" "y" "because he thouroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *GASP!* X.x dead face "NANCY! NANCY!.....well in other OTHER news ive just murdered nancy, and thats no joke." *runs*

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What do you call a black man in green shoes and a yellow hat ? Nothing,thats just him pursuing in his own regular casual outfit there for you would just notice him as a normal man walking around with shoes and a hat on so there is nothing to call him

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How many dead babies can you fit in a trunk? 37.

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Joe has 30 candy bars and eats 25. What does john have now? DIABETIES. Joe has diabeties. Please comment!!!!!!!

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why did the plane crash ? Because a loaf of brad was flying it, and Loaves of bread don't fly planes

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Why was the chair spinning Cause it wants to

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In Soviet Russia, man doesn't walk to the bar. The bar walks to the man!

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Why did the blonde arrest the man? Because he brutally murdered his wife and children.

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Touche.try eating something, I eat low carb crap when I am too sleepy, and today I guess it works.

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What's big and green and I gets stuck in your teeth will kill you? A tractor

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How do you make a kids parents mad? Fly an SR71-BLACKBIRD into him.

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Justin Bieber's voice sounds like Michael J. Fox playing a theramin.

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Q How do you make the fire fighter sad? A Kill his dog

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what starts with f and ends with c k....???? FIRETRUCK

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Baby Seal walks into a club.

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Yo momma's so old, she lives in a nursing home and is on various medications that she needs to take to stay in optimum health.

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A whole 'nother.

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What do you call it when a multiple personality disorder person masturbates? Rape.

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what do you make if you get a cow, then kill it. ...Steak

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roses are blue violetrs are green im shooting heroine into my head

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Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side

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Why did the horse die? I shot it in the face.

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What would you do if Spider Man gave you super powers like his? Nothing. Spider Man is not real therefore you are most likely dreaming and need to wake up soon.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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