There once was a man from Peru, Who dreamed he was eating his shoe, When he woke up one night he discovered with fright, That the friendly old neighbor from next door had broken into his house with a chain saw in an alcohol-induced murder attempt.

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A duck walks into a bar. The duck walks over to the bartender and orders a beer. "put it on my bill." he says. The bartender angrily grabs the duck and kicks him out of the bar, because the duck has done this many times, but has never once paid his bill to the bar. The duck is an alcoholic and is slowly ruining his relationship with his family.

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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There was a girl that got on the bus . The bus started moving as soon as sat . The bus driver looked up at the window and saw the girl coming closer . Every time she came closer , the more he looked , the girls nose kept on bleeding more and more . When the girl was right next to the bus driver , he started to shudder in fear looking forward , knowing that she is there . When he looks to his right , the girl looked at him , then looked at the window . And started to pick her nose .

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Why was the black man very rich? Because he was a lawyer who worked hard and was able to provide himself with a steady income.

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Roses are brown. Violets are brown. Who pooped in my garden?

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What do you call a middle-aged Polish man on Skype? A lonely man.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven brutally raped and murder six's parents whilst six hid in the closet and watched.

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Q: What happens when you throw a glowing purple rock into a bright green stream? A: It makes a splash

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A black man, an asian man, and a gay man walk into a bar. What do they do? They mourn the loss of their dead friend.

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what do u call a hairy cow? Harry

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What was the black kid carrying when he was running down your street? His television set

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What do you get when you cross a Minotaur with a snowman? A cold mythological creature.

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Who cured cancer? Not God. What do you think of the almighty now?

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"Why do children's movies show everything in that happens in the movie in the trailer?" "The same reason I show children everything that's inside of my trailer."

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What do you call a over weight woman? Fat bitch.

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Whats whats black, yellow, wnd green all over? The Jamacain flag

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Why did the black man eat KFC? Because he got hungry.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he...

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Knock, knock who's there? Not your Dad, because he left and created a better family.

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What's green, has six legs and lives in the jungle? A Snooker Table.

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Repeat after me... I'matote ulbu twad Now say that all together Im a total butt wad

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why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was being chased by 7, who is a rapist

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A man walks into a bar. He is then taken to the hospital for his concussion, seeing as the bar was made of metal

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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