Why couldn't Mary see the painting? Because she had no face.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you touch yourself.

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This is Axel, if you are who I think you are, you are late.

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Why couldn't the mother make her son's funeral? She died in a car crash on the way there.

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asdasdasdasd

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A rabi and a priest go out for a coffee they talk for a while and go on there way

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A blind man walks into a bar, bystanders help him up.

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? Your bike.

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How many lesbians does it take to change a lightbulb? One. But after she does this, se will probably have sex with another woman

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Why couldn't jack join the football team? Jack has down syndrome

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Is this the Krusty Krab? Nope, Chuck Testa.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Ken. Can I some and use your toilet, I really need a shit.

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Why did the black man go to jail? He stole some rice.

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A turtle walks into a bar. The bar tender says "what will it be?" the turtle doesnt reply because its a turtle and the bar tender is sent to a mental hospital for talking to turtles.

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An Iranian, a Mexican, and an American are on an airplane. The plane is too heavy to take off, so to lighten the load, each person has to throw off something their country has a lot of. The Iranian throws off a nuclear bomb. The Mexican throws off a sombrero. The American throws off an apple pie.

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Whats the worst thing about dying? Your not alive anymore.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She has no arms.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool? Phil, because that's his name.

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What do you call a house big enough to fit all the poor people in America? A fairly large establishment without quality standards.

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what is worse than gay sex wiping your ass with sandpaper

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Q: Whats worse than dropping your ice cream? A: Dropping two ice creams. Q: Whats worse than dropping two ice creams? A: The Holocaust. Q: Whats worse than the Holocaust? A: Dropping three ice creams.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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how do you make a plumber sad? tell him to pull up his pants

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get hit by a car because he was depressed and contemplating suicide.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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