Why did the plane crash? Chuck Norris was sitting in it, and thus his weight was countless times larger than the lift force of the plane.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Why didn't gram-pa give his grandson a Birthday present? Because he had Alzheimer's and forgot about him.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

A Christian asks god why there is so much pain and grief in the world. God does not exist.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

There was a golfer at the field where people usually golf. he had a golf club. so did the man next to him. The man i spoke of first hit the guy that was next to him with a golf club. Why? because he was angry at the man for shoving socks down his daughters throat and extracted her eyes with a melon scooper. This should not be humorous, the girl got blood and eye juice on her fathers new shoes when she came home.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Did you hear about Phil in accounting? No? Well he was trying to make a new type of car. He took the seats from a ford engine from a dodge, and the frame from a toyota. Do you know what he got? 5 years in jail.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Q. What's big, green, has four legs, fuzzy, and if fell out of a tree would kill you? A. A pool table

thumb_up thumb_down -40

What did hitler say to the jacket potato? Your fucked now!

thumb_up thumb_down -40

What starts with 'd' and ends in 'ick'? dick -XH

thumb_up thumb_down -42

question: why did the dog whine? answer: Because it wanted the freakin bone

thumb_up thumb_down -42

there once was a little boy who lived in a little house with his little parents who ate little food. one day the boy went on a website called antijokes and he started to read a joke, by the time he had gotten to the end of the joke he realized that there was no punchline but it was very lenghty and quite pointless.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Madeline McCan

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Why was the chocolate black? It's not black you idiot, its white

thumb_up thumb_down -46

What did the doctor say to the person who is suffering from obesity? Run fatass Run

thumb_up thumb_down -46

A fake pizza delivery guy goes to a party and tries to deliver DiGornios pizza in another companys pizza box. The party host calls the police and the guy gets charged for stealing another companys uniform and impersonating a pizza palace worker. He had to return the uniform.

thumb_up thumb_down -50

whats the difference between a grape and an elephant? the grape is purple

thumb_up thumb_down -50

What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? A comment saying "I don't think that's an anti-joke"

thumb_up thumb_down -54

What's sad about a guy jumping off a cliff? The cliff.

thumb_up thumb_down -56

Who will win in a fight Chuck Norris or Chuck Norris? I don't even know who he is -Lets go METS!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -60

What is the difference between 1 and 2? 2 is a higher number than 1.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

What grows best during the cold Winter season? The number of deaths among homeless people.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

How does an asian man drive? He hops into the car, turns the ignition, slowly accelerates from his parking spot and merges into everyday traffic

thumb_up thumb_down +39

How many Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

A man walks into a bar. Oh, wait, no. It was a horse. So... A man walks into a horse

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What is green and red and flies 100 miles an hour? Super Frog.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops