Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? Presents

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An irishman walks into a bar and drinks 6 pints of guiness. He then drives himself home and savagely beats his wife and children.

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What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back at her

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Why did the kid lose his nose? because his brother chopped it off with an axe.

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what do you get when you cross a bulldog with a shitshu? a puppy.

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what do German people eat at BBQ ' s ? burgers and hotdogs and kebabs and fried chicken with a garnish of summer salad washed down with a cold mouth tingling glass of coca cola and jews

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why are you going to laugh at this its reallly dumb

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What did the woman say to her abusive husband? You're hurting me.

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What's black, white and red all over? A race war

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Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

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When I became a WoMan, no, its a nice subject, I do not mind at all.

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Why didn't John get a present for Christmas? Because John died eight months ago.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm a fish out of water. Help me I'm suffocating.

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What happens if you're caught strangling a purple leprechaun? You are taken to a mental institution because you have schizophrenia

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What's the difference between a pizza and a baby? I don't stab pizza 47 times in the chest with a chainsaw.

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Guess what! What? huhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhu

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when chuck norris does a pushup, he is tearing the muscles in his biceps, deltoids, core, and triceps in order to make them stronger.

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What did Timmy's mom think of his art project? Nothing, she screamed and called an ambulance because she saw that he had tripped and fallin onto a pair of scissors and they just so happened to peirce his heart.

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Why did Hellen Keller drive off of the cliff? Because she is a woman.

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What kind of movies do pirates like? They don't know, Somalia doesn't have much of a film industry.

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What did the Asian man say to the taxi driver? Diarrrhea

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A bald man walks out a bar crying Prostate cancer

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there are three types of people in this world, those who can't count, and those who can. STFU, you corny loser

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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