Why were you in an igloo? I don't know, why were you?

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What comes out of a zit? Purple poop.

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OMG FUCKING NERDS WITH NO LIFE CAN READ ABOUT THE POWER OF YOUR Vaginal puss puss color, no but seriously, I kinda prefer unshaven, I mean if I change my opinion I just do it myself or command that you shave yourself while I put it on my cellphone while I jack off to you, making a creampie, yeah because.

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Why did Hitler kill himself? He saw his gas bill.

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What's up with airplane food? Not sure, but last flight I was on they didn't serve any food. It could have been because it was too short of a flight or perhaps the recessed economy caused jetliners to cut costs. Either way, I didn't get a bag of peanuts.

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Kids, your mother and I thought we should tell you this now... You know our dog sparky? Well he... was actually Osama bin Laden and is now dead!

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A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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A jew, a black, and a gay are walking together. The black points out a new house.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares?

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What did one new born baby say to the other new born baby.? Babies don't have teeth therefore they are unable to talk.

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Why should you never push a Mexican off a bike? Because he will file a lawsuit against you in the event of an injury.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because grass don't eat meat.

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What's worse than eating spinach? Dying.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your bipolar aunt so don't ask again.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being raped by a giant scorpion.

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Why did the deaf man ask for directions? He didn't as he knew he wouldnt have a clue what they are on about.

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A man walks into a bar with a giant banana as a head and the bartender asks why he has a giant banana as a head and the man says get me a drink and i will explain, the bartender got the man a drink and he started to explain why, so i found this real nice golden lamp and i rubbed it next thing you know this genie pops out and he said i get three wishes the first one he wishes for unlimited wealth with a snap of the genies fingers the wish came true next he wished to be the most handsome man ever with a spin and a snap the wish came true but this is where it went wrong, I said to the genie and i cant believe he got me with this one (because genies always put a twist on things) i said: i wish for my head to be a banana

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OMG SOHPIE IS SOOOOO GREAT AT BLOWING Josh Brown xoxo

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A white man and a drunken black man enters the bar, the bartender calls the cop and the black man is dragged into the police car. The black man screams YOU ARE RACIST! YOU DAMN RACISTS! The cops tell him he has been walking around the streets naked the last 2 days... Oooh... I am really sorry sir says the black man. He was forgiven and went sober forever. Moral: No moral, that is the anti moral in this anti joke...and besides I am a W class celebrity.enjoy life

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What's the worst joke ever? Justin Bieber.

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There's a donut on a cruise ship and he goes up to the captain and he's like "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain goes "nope, come back tomorrow" so the next day the donut goes up to the captain and says "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain replies "nope, come back tomorrow" so the next day the donut goes up to the captain and he's like "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain says "NO!" and throws him over board Theres a couple on the cruise ship and the man was going to have a romantic dinner with his girlfriend and propose. So he was showing his bestfriend (who was also on the cruise ship) the ring. But was he pulled it out the wind picked up and the ring fell over board. So the man was forced to have a romantic dinner with his girlfriend and couldn't propose. So they go to dinner and the both get crab. And when they open up the crab and guess what's in the crab?! Not the ring the donut!!!

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Roses-are-red violets-are-blue Justin's-for -me Not-for-u if-by-chance u-take-my-place I'll-grad-fist &-smash-ur-face

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Whats blind and deaf? Hellen Keller.

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Why did the pencil break? A Viking destroyed it with his beard.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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