Your mom is so ugly- Wait, hold on. How are you born?

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What do you call a person without any arm no legs and a eye patch? names

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I was not scared, I was disappointed, I was expecting to see you for you, not the whole strange outfit getup, what was the point of that? I know the deal about hypnosis and stuff, did you know it is actually known as monoideoism? But I really cant figure for the life of me how it is physically possible to be under a deep state of trance and completely awake at the same time.

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How do you hack into someone's computer? A few good hits with a hatchet should do the trick

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Q. Why did the lotion soothe the person's skin? A. Because its ingredients were selected because of their propensity to soothe skin.

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1 white girl and 2 black men -TRAGIC

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What do you call a unicorn that is both invisible and pink? The Invisible Pink Unicorn.

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Q. How many blondes does it take to put in a lightbulb? A. Cause of 7,8,9!

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I'm sorry but your child seems to have fractured his spinal column and can no longer control any part of his body below his neck.

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How much signal does an Asian woman need to cut across 4 lanes? None

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whats the sad part of 4 negroes driving off a cliff? the car couldve fit 5

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue There's suppose to be a fourth line.

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What did one duck say to the other? "Quack" Ducks don't talk. But if it were to say something it would probably mention how it is concerned about the fact that the majority of people on the internet don't know what ducks say to each other.

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

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A Finnish guy and a Russian guy go into a sauna. The Russian died.

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What do the holocaust and new born babies have in common? Nothing. Except some babies are born in Germany.

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How do you piss off a redneck? You wait until he is done fucking his sister and then you steal his truck.

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What did the Macedonian guy say to the Croatian guy? Both of our countries are from the former Yugoslavia.

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What is worse than being eaten alive by a shark? Being force fed live goat intestines while Kevin Spacey rapes your father.

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A guy reads the bible Another guy shouts "spoiler alert, the main character dies"

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse being a horse and doesnt understand english is confused and scared by its surroundings it gallops away knocking over a few tables.

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How do you make a clown stop smiling? hit him with an axe

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Red are roses Blue are violets Dyslexic am I.

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what unique about 3 red signs and 1 blue sign right next to eachother? there all the same colors!!!!except for the blue sign.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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