Emily Scarpello...Fat Couch

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why did the man sell the car and bought worse one? it' s his hoby to restore cars

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Dont joke about the holocaust. My grandfather died there, he fell off the guard tower.

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There's my tractor.

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So Superman walks into a bar right, WRONG, Superman flies into bar

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What happens when you tickle a rabid iguana? It bites you and you die.

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Two men walk into a bar, get drunk, and drive home. Unfortunately, they crash into a tree and are mortally wounded.

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How do you kill a Jewish person? Like any other person, they are like any other person of any race and religion.

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Why did Beethoven get rid of his chickens? Because they kept saying Bach bach Bach. No. Beethoven was deaf. He couldnt understand what they were saying.

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Why did the Mexican fall off of a cliff? He lost is ballence.

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Roses are brown. Violets are brown. Who pooped in my garden?

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What do you call a unicorn that is both invisible and pink? The Invisible Pink Unicorn.

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Why did the mans nuts itch he had crabs

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whats the difference between marmalade and jam? you cant marmalade ur cock up a girls arse

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1 white girl and 2 black men -TRAGIC

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It had a heart attack. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey

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Stephen Hawking is so paranoid, always looking over his shoulder.

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a man rides on his horse to rohde island and back. he rode on Friday and returned on Friday. damn, that's one fat horse

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I was not scared, I was disappointed, I was expecting to see you for you, not the whole strange outfit getup, what was the point of that? I know the deal about hypnosis and stuff, did you know it is actually known as monoideoism? But I really cant figure for the life of me how it is physically possible to be under a deep state of trance and completely awake at the same time.

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What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill.

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Your mom is so ugly- Wait, hold on. How are you born?

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What brown and squishy? um um um um melted kit-kats

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How do you hack into someone's computer? A few good hits with a hatchet should do the trick

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Who would win, Chuck Norris or a T-Rex? The T-Rex, Chuck Norris would get ripped apart like any other human-being.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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