Q: why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: because it was dead.

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Its behind you like if you looked behind

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What did superman say when he flew into a building? Flying is inhumanly possible unless in an aircraft vehicle.

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How do you acquire a bomb? Go to the bomb store.

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What's white and can't climb a tree? A Refrigerator

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist bastard.

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Five little monkeys jumping on the bed One fell off and bumped his head Mama called the doctor an the doctor said, "I am calling Child Protection Services."

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Where did Mary go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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Yo Momma is so fat, she often chooses to take the elevator instead of the stairs.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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whats not funny and has access to a computer and reasonable internet? Me

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What mouse walks on two legs? Mickey Mouse. What bear walks on two legs? Winnie the Pooh. What duck walks on two legs? All of them, dumbass.

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What do you call a fat guy running on the street? Nothing because you should respect his effort trying to improve his health.

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Knock knock Who's there Orange Orange who Orange

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Q: Why did the child fall? A: Because I shot him in the leg.

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Why was Jimmy so bad at jumping rope? His father's car ran over an IED back in 2009. Jimmy had lost his legs in a tragic explosion.

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roses are red violets are blue i take pleasure in the simple things in life as i have nothing else left to live for

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What did the gay man receive for christmas? AIDS

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? You provide him with a ladder of varying length depending on his height in the tree and hold the ladder to ensure that it is stable and safe while he is climbing down. If he his very high in the tree then it may be helpful to call the fire department for assistance in getting him down.

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what starts with b and ends with b? The bomb i just planted in your house.

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Doctor, doctor, I just swallowed a roll of film! That was an incredibly foolish and dangerous thing for you to do. I would be surprised if you survived another day before the chemicals corrode your stomach lining and release hydrofluoric acid throughout your body causing sepsis.

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What do you get when you hit a kid with a hockeystick? arrested.

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roses are blue violets are red dont judge me

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What do you get when you reverse Zelda's Lullaby ? Skyward Sword's theme.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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