- Anti Joke

What's the difference between a duck? Both legs are of equal length, especially the right.

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

How is an elephant like a grape? They're both purple, except for the elephant.

What is long, hard, and full of semen? An erected penis.

Why couldn't the blonde do her homework? She had no fingers.

What did the drug addict say to the doctor? I am a drug addict and am in need of help and rehabilitation.

Q:What do you call a mexican witha clean record? A: Impossible

Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their car with a coat hanger. They had left the keys inside and no-one was around to help.

What did batman say to robin before they got in the car Get in the car

A Mexican, a Jew, and a Colored guy walk into a bar, the bartender looks up and says: "What can I get you gentlemen today?"

Why did the potato cross the road? It didn't. A potato is a vegetable. It cannot walk, think or speak.

What's black and White and black and White? A nun falling down a stairs

How do you stop a dog from humping your leg? Suck its dick.

your life

How much does Michael Vick love his dogs? More than Casey Anthony loved her daughter.

Eric is gay Ha

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What worse than seeing a worm in your apple? Half a worm in your apple.

Knock knock Who's there The military, your son died last night.

How do you keep black people out of your backyard. A no trespassing sign.

Keira Knightley walked in to a coffee shop. The man behind the counter said "Wow, you're Keira Knightley!". Keira replied, "No, actually I am just one of your many masturbatory fantasies. You are currently staring at an old lady that just asked you for a latte". "Oh, by the way. You are drooling and have an erection."

Q: What do you call an orange if it isn't orange? A: Nothing. Chances are you won't see it until it has ripened.

This night was a particularly stormy one, many a crop destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could emotionally blind those who may experience it's full potential. Jonny lived in Ristoville, a secluded village atop a hill. Citizens of Ristoville were frightened for there lives, all but Jonny, that is. Jonny was bullied from a young age, approximately 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest, full-time. Fear shined in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope, expectation and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going to venture into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He pondered this, and ultimately came to the conclusion that there will be nothing worse out there that Uncle Clive's "Magical Basement of Happiness". Jonny sat his mother down in the family's precious leather chair, looked her in the eye and whispered a sweet farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible, so now he is armed with the fact that his father is there for him, to help him further his adventure. Finally, Rosie Harrison, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Crystal Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless failed suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonathon's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her fragile little ears as Jonny walked away. He grabbed his stash of Cool Original Doritos, took with him a couple cartons of Apple and Blackcurrant Ribena, got his Grandfather's lucky medallion and his inhaler and took his first step outside. He whipped out a carton of Ribena, used the straw to puncture a hole through which to drink, strongly crumpled up the carton, slightly spraying pure fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the drooping wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and with a cry so intense, shouted, "Nothing will stop me!!". Jonny died shortly after of HIV induced AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 3 to 5 years, depending on behavior, in a high security prison for child molestation, frequent and consistant child abuse and paedophillia and smuggling Crystal Meth. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

What's worse than the Holocaust? Getting raped..

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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