How many politicians does it take to screw in a light bulb? Ten. One to actually screw it in, and nine to stand around and say, "I can do it better."

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Have you seen the flock of birds? probably not because they hit a window and all died at impact.

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How did the dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the leg of a chicken.

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What's the difference between a educated black man & a educated white man? One's black, One's white

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Daisy's are white, Metallica.

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Why was the clock off? Because it was broken

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Why did the old lady walk across the road? She was on her way to the convenience store on the other side.

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What do an elephant and a can of soup have in common? They both can't ride a bike

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I don't trust stairs. They're always up to something.

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It's not ok to have intercourse with a woman who say's "No!" But what about "Let go of me!"?

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Nobody, this is a metaphorical door..

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What did one Japanese man say to the other? I don't know, I don't speak Japanese.

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A blonde was taking a Math exam, so she brought her Asian boyfriend with her. It turns out they were going to his father's retirement party afterwards.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He got hit in the head with a brick.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 raped 9.

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What did the depressed teenage fat kid do to resolve his issues? Commited suicide.

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A Redhead, a Blonde, and a Brunette are all standing on top of a cliff in Ireland. They took a few pictures, and all in all it was a lovely vacation.

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hmm, thinking, thinking, SNAPPLE!

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You wanna know who else messes around a lot? My mom. Do you know who else has the best tacos in town? My mom. Do you know who else doesn't have time for this? My mom. She's a very busy woman; dealing with matters you'd expect a recently divorced mother would have to carry on her shoulders.

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What's the difference between being hungry and being horny? Where you put the cucumber

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I once walked into my grandmas house to find her laying face down on the ground. It turns out that everyone was planking but grandma wasn't breathing...

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I was gonna make a gay joke but those are insensitive, and gays have feelings like everyone else

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Why was a black man in a police car? He is a police officer.

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a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops