What's the safest way to tell a racist joke? Ask everybody who might hear the joke if they would be offended by a racist joke.

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When I see the Viagra commercial telling you about all the side effects and they say "if you have an erection lasting for more than 4 hours, call a doctor." If I have an erection that lasts that long, I'm not calling a doctor. I'm calling my mom; who I always call when I'm sick.

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Why did the giraffe fall over? Because I shot it with a bowling ball cannon,

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your momma is so poor that she is on welfare.

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What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer? dinner

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Whats louder than a dinosaur? 2 Dinosaurs

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u are so............................................................................................................................................................................................gay

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A nun, a jew, and a black walk into a bar. The bartender says "What is this, a joke?"

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When life gives you lemons, go sell them for crack.

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johnny goes to the shops asks the lady at the counter, can i go home The Lady says ..... Buy one get one free

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What is green, red, and goes 70 mph? A frog in a blender

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Why was Helen Keller depressed? She was deaf and blind.

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If you woke up in the morning feeling like P Diddy, get tested. Immediately.

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Two guys walk into a bar. They are knocked out and rushe to hospital because the bar was metal.

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a pizza? A pizza can feed a family of four.

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A man walks into a bar. Something funny happens.

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What's worse than finding a hair in lasagna? An earthworm crawling into your ear and feeding on your intestines.

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Q. The farmer said where's my bucket A. Somewhere

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Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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Q: What would happen if Chuck Norris was hit by an Astroid A: He would die.

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What did one dead baby say to another dead baby? Nothing... they were dead.

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Justin Bieber

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What do you call a straight A student that takes 6 Vicodin's, 5 Percocet's, and 7 Adderalls? I don't know, but he will most likely die of drug overdose.

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A man walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The barman says no.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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