Q. What do you get when you cross a bird with a human? A. Arrested.

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What is the difference between a black man and a bench? The bench is a piece of wood, while the black man is a human being.

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Bob: Do you know the difference between beer and women? John: No Bob: Oh

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What can kill you when it falls out of a tree? Anything of a considerable weight actually.

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What happens when there is a jew next to you and you are standing on a train track? A train hits you both and you both die.

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How do you get a jewish girls number check her wrist

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What city likes baseball the most? New York

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Why did the girl fall out of the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Hey, you know what would be funny? A joke.

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What is better than winning a gold medal at the parolympic games? Having two legs!

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-Bumper Sticker- Honk if you love Jesus. (Text while driving if you want to meet him)

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Have you heard about the hipster paleontologist? He liked dinosaurs better when they were underground.

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How many times do you have to make an ass of yourself before you look like a retard and thinking ''random'' means funny? Fuck yourself HAHAHAHAHA seriously stahp

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7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,8

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What's worse than having you're leg fall asleep? Getting Polio

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding poo in your shoe.

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a horse walks into a bar. the bartender says "why the long face?". the horse answers..."i'm a horse"

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What did the Muslim say to the Jew? Nothing, as he has been deaf since birth and is incapable of forming coherent speech.

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what did the unicorn say to the centaur? nothing because neither exist

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If anything is possible try to staple water to a tree.

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A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs on the doorstep? The Diabetes man

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An Irishman walks into a club. "Ow, that was almost as painful as that time I walked into a bar."

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Nerochan, it was really nice chatting with you, I hope we can chat some other time... Please tell me why you are upset with me, just pick up the phone, I mean let me know what I did you wrong.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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