Boys go to college to get more knowledge, girls go to Jupiter... Actually I lied, girls go to the kitchen

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what happens when Pinocchio says "My nose is growing"?

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Yeah your point? Anyway, so then the brain surgeon goes: I have have cut into thousands of brains, and never seen a single thought.

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You might not notice at first, but in this very sentence there is a psychological phrase that is used to hypnotise you. If you read through the first sentence of this paragraph three or four times, you may start to feel the sudden urge to have a drink. This is called the ashvakalym effect.

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Q: What say one therapist to a friend? A: I'm the rapist

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whos gay and sits next to me? Griffen in my architecture class

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How do you hack into someone's computer? A few good hits with a hatchet should do the trick

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why couldnt the little boy watch two and a half men? because charlie sheen left and the other guy had surgeery and now has 2 penises

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Roses are black Violets are black Oh fuck I'm blind!

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Why couldn't Jesus get a driver's license? Because automobiles did not exist 2000 years ago.

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What's the difference between a Jew and an apple? One of them is a fruit, and the other is not.

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Why did to plane crash because the pilot was a tomato

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What was a hard time for people? the great depression

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You look like Susan Boyle f**ked Snooki and then got hit by a truck.

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Why was the chair sad? It wasn't, for chairs do not posses the proper attributes to feel emotions such as depression.

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A man falls off a building and dies on Impact

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Why was the Tortous and the Hare written? So fat people will feel good about themselves.

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How big does your mouth have to be to eat a baby? How would i know, i'm not a canible.

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Q:What do you call a mexican witha clean record? A: Impossible

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mary had a little lamb it's fleece was white as snow and everywhere that mary went it did a massive shit

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what is the difference between a baby and a book... The book still has a spine

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A man walks into a bar and says, "Hey, Jim, your wife just died from terminal cancer." Jim then says, "Cool. Hey, do you know if the games on tonight?"

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What do you call a black midget in space? The first true example of how hard work, dedication and sacrifice can help you to achieve your goals.

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What do you call a black man running really fast down a street? Active.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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