What did the pillow say to it's owner? Nothing. Pillows are not able to talk.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Yamum is so poor that she has trouble supporting herself and paying her own bills. Subsiqeunetly she had her electricity and home phone cut off, not that she would have any use for a home phone with her electricity cut off anyway. She sits on her bed and cries herself to sleep each night and has been thrown into depression due to her spiraling financial debts of which she can see no end to. This has led to several attempts to take her own life to hopefully finally find a way out of her misery and debt.

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Did you hear about the two guys that stole a calender? They each got six months.

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what doesn't kill you makes you crippled for life because you lost use of your legs in a tragic car accident

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Why did the man kill himself? Because he had a gun

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What did Anne Frank say to the German Officer? Nothing. She had to keep quiet in a cramp attic in order to survive.

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what's worse than falling and scraping your knee? living within a 10 mile radius of a Japanese nuclear reactor

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? The Holocaust No, the Holocaust never even happened, you're an idiot.

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what you say to the kid that just hit puberty? your a young man

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When a Jew with a boner walks into a wall what hits first? It really depends weather his arm or leg is sticking out when he hits the wall. When studying trejectory sciences, you will find out that it will be nearly a 95% chance that his foot will in fact hit the wall first.

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How did the car get a dent? Terrorists bombed the house next to it

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What do you get when you cross a dog with a cat? Nothing, it is impossible to mix 2 different animals

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Yo momma is so fat that she is overweight

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What do dragonflies do when they are a couple? One sits on the others head, causing the bottom dragonfly to have a loss of vision, and increases the weight on the bottom dragonfly, which increases the chance of both the dragonflies deaths.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

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I like my women like bacon. Greasy and full of wrinkels

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a tree There isn't a tree in my garage

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Why did the man drop one dozen long stem roses? Because he was hit by a taxi cab

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Why did Susie fall off the swings? Because she was hit by a truck.

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people who spank you sure are a pain in the ass.

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I have existed for over 6000 years and around vi0lating people long before you where ever born kid... You do not believe me you say? friendly r*pist neighbourhood Moral Man: You do not believe me? According to this DNA test... Welcome to papa son/daughter... Its time to make you a man/woman now, and then TIME TO MAKE YOU my BlTCH!

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why does the man appear fat he is

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Why did the man kill the hamster? To get to the other side.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops