What do you call postman pat without a job? Pat.

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Q: WHAT DO YOU CALL THIS JOKE??? A: Another joke you didn't think was funny... REFRIGERATOR!! O.k. Now it's funny!

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Q: A vandal walked into a bar. What did the bartender say? A: Nothing, the vandal had covered him and the bar in pritt stick before he had the opportunity to speak, then left with his penguin accomplice, Reginald the third.

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Why was 6 scared of 7? Because 7,8,9

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What is red and has wheels? Grass, I lied about it being red and having wheels.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have schizophrenia And so do I..

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What do you call a midget mixed with a T. rex? Dinosaurs are dead and this is a highly un probable situation. Therefore, I do not know.

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Why did Johnny disappear? He was sucked into a vacuum toilet on an air jet.

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what did little johnny get his grandfather for christmas?nothing his grandfather died on thanksgiving

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I hate Mondays, the man said as he drove to work. Fortunately for him, it was a Wednesday.

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Rishi has popcorn while wass n jess r making jokes on anti jokes

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Who can walk on water? Not the guy in the wheelchair.

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A man with a badly injured arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "Yes, with proper medical attention and rest, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I was hurt, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

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Three children had stumbled into an old cottage where they were met by a wizard. The wizard pointed out a slide in the corner of his cottage. He told the children that they could each go down the slide and that they could shout out a word while sliding. He told them that what ever they shouted, they would land in a pool of it at the bottom of the slide. So the first child began sliding and shouted out "GOLD" and sure enough he landed in a large pool of solid gold. Due to its extreme hardness the child was killed immediately on impact.

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mmm i love marble bumhole

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Two girls are backpacking in the Sierra Nevada. They walk 8 km from their base camp at a bearing of 42 degrees. After lunch, they document the wildlife they have seen because they are tracking the populations of species native to the area. Then they continue on their hike, but this time at a bearing of 127 degrees. After 5 km, they reach their destination for the day and set up a temporary camp.

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like this or you will die at some point in your life

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Q~ What did the black man say to the priate when he pulled out a AK47? A~ "This is a gun. im going to kill you with it."

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There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

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Giant scorpions, red roses, adoption, the holocaust, bars, changing light bulbs, and fridges.

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What was the last thing that went through the crashing helicopter pilot's head? The propeller.

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A young man walks into a bar. A complicated chain of events leads to him marrying the owner's second cousin's half-niece-in-law.

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What did john say to dave when his grandfather died ?

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What's worse than dieing? Not much.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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