What happed when the homeless shelter went out of business? -Everyone went hungry and died.

Why don't dinosaurs talk? Because they're all dead!!!!

Q: Why did the little boy fall off the swing? A: Because he was hit by a bus, and then was raped violently. He is currently undergoing psychotherapy.

Who died first the cow or the cow? The Cow

What did the man say to the woman before he had sex with her? "May I have sex with you, please?"

What's the difference between acne and Michael Jackson? One is a an unsightly blemish that appears on your skin and the other is a dead pop singer.

What do you call a black jew? Overcooked

a blond, a brunette, and a redhead are stuck on top of a mountain. they freeze to death and the rescue team discovers their frozen bodies two days later.

Have you ever treat woman like sandwich? Elephant and walrus said Jews are troubles. If six plus nine is five, chickens will eat you, saturdays.

Your mum's so fat, she should probably consult her local GP to insure she doesn't die of a cardiac arrest.

Why couldn't the cat drink milk? It Didn't have a face.

Why did the clock say 10:30? It was a digital clock!

How do Germans treat the Jewish? Kindly, and with much hospitality.

A guy went to a girl asked if she wanted to have sex with him. She said yes and they promptly had sex.

What do you call a shark on land A dead shark

What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? That they may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

What did the Brontosaurus say to the Triceratops? Nothing. Neither of them have ever existed.

Q:What's brown and tastes like shit? A:Shit

I'm rick james bitch

A man walks into a bar and probably sustains serious head injuries and possibly a concussion as most bars are usually made out of solid metals such as iron or steel and is therefore not permitted by his doctor to engage in sports or other rigorous activities for an allotted period of time depending on the degree of his injury.

Why did the chicken cross the road? There is no reason. Chickens don't have the thinking skills to reason.

Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

What do you call white people on a bench? NBA What do you call black people on a bench? RTA

What do you call a green dog? A green dog.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...