A woman walks into a bar.

Q: What did the crippled deaf kid get for Christmas? A: A motorised wheelchair and a cochlear implant. Good for him.

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

Who's mean and white and really not nice? Hitler

Why don't woman wear watches? Because there is a clock on the stove!

Anti-Joke is a knock-off.

What do a worm and a human have in common? They both have arms and legs apart from the worm

Who's the slut of the alphabet? C.

What's the difference between a baby and a tea bag? Tea bags don't scream when I dip them in boiling water

Chuck Norris' beard takes 1st 2nd and 3rd in the most impressive beard catagory. He was the only contestant.

I was walking down a railway line the other day... I was fined £1000

Why did the mans nuts itch he had crabs

whats sad about justin bieber getting hit by a car and dying ? I wasnt driving the car that hit him.

Bro: Aww Dawg! What if they tell me I got da aids? Dawg!: Hey don worry bro, you gotta BE POSITIVE

how many flys in a box six --sticksack

A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

Yo mama so fat when she dresses in red she looks like clifford the big red dog!

A muslim, a jew, and a black man jump off a cliff. Who hits the ground first? They all hit the ground at the same time because gravity pulls all objects at the same rate regardless of their mass.

What did one saggy boob say to the other one? Better perk up or they'll think we're nuts.

Two men meet at an office. One man says "why the long face?" Then other man says "I just had plastic surgery."

What did the nazi say to the jew? Nothing, he shot 'em

Roses are Red Violets are Blue There's suppose to be a fourth line.

Q:What's black, wrinkled and smells like raisins? A: A raisin.

What's the difference between a Boy Scout and a Jew? One comes back from camp.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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