Why couldn't the Asian man speak in chinese? He never learned chinese

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He was as tall as a 6 foot 3 tree.

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Why a man without hands and without legs want to stay in a barrel? He actually doesn't, but is unable to get out of it.

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What do you call a gay man in a wheelchair? Nothing, his life is already hard enough and bullying him will only make the problem worse.

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Roses are red..... violets are blue...... I have a gun get in the van

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Knock Knock The guy opens the door

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A girl walked into a bar and sat next to a man. She asked what he was drinking. He said something that makes you fly. She didn't believe him. He then went up to the roof, jumped off and walked back in the front door. She got the drink then tried to jump off the roof, and died on impact. The bartender said to the man "You're a real asshole when you're drunk superman."

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Guess what? You guessed it.

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So, you got to take medications daily or die? Are you in pain my dear?

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Roses are brown, Violets are brown, Tulips are brown, I need to stop working on my flower garden after fisting a cows butthole.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being ripped apart by an angry orangatang because orangatangs have the strength of ten men.

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender asks what he'd like. The man says something funny, but you kinda had to be there.

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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns hoping at least one of the puns would win but, unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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What is Jetlag? When your computer is running too many applications/programs, thus causing the game Jetman on Facebook to lag.

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Why did Isaac cross the road? Because Jake did Why did Isaac cross the road? Because mum told him not to Why did Isaac cross the road? Because Maya was there

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One Direction???? Gifted singers???? HA HA HA

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Why did Suzy drop her ball? Because roughly 5 years ago she was part of a car crash violently tearing off both of her arms. Knock knock. Who's there. NOT SUZY!

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why are black people always so funny because they think of funny jokes

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My girlfriend gave me her first ever blowjob last night. I came in her mouth and she washed it down with a can of Carling. Obviously she had to get that horrible taste out of her mouth, so she gave me another blowjob.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Whos there Not Susie What did Susie get for Christmas? I don't know , she never opened it. Who high fived Susie? No one Why did Susie die? She got shot in the face

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My brother found a worm in his apple. I dared him to eat it, so he did. When he tried to swallow, the mashed up worm congealed in his throat, killing him. Later, I found out that the worm had poisonous rectum fluids. I was given the Nobel Peace prize.

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A train conducter conducts at 60mph, when he goes under a bridge he goes at 52mph. When he goes over a hill he goes at 47mph, if he goes under 2 bridges and over 3 hills what did the conductors mother have for dinner that night. Nothing she was raped then promptly murdered.

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RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY 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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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