My mates dad hasnt had a job in 20 years... its probably why there all homless outside my house.

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What do you call an underground train full of professors? It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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A bar walks into a man and the man walks into a watermelon then the watermelon walks into a black guy then the black guy walks into a piece of fried chicken then the piece of fried chicken walks into a hotdog then the hotdog walks into a wall then the wall walks into a horse then the horse walks into a jar of mayonaise then the jar of mayonaise walks into a can then the can walks into the bar

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What did the guy say to helen keller nothing... according to helen keller

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you're momma's so fat, and i like fat chicks. is she home?

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Why did the woman stop running? She was an escaped convict that had been on the run for twelve years and the police had finally found the place where she was hidding. Upon arriving at her house she started to open fire on the three police cars, hit two cops and killed one more. The two are fine and are going through physical therapy as they were both hit in the spine and have a difficult time performing the smallest task. The one was one called billy. Billy had died in the hospital after asking if they had got her. He died believing a lie. They never got her. She is still on the run, I lied about her stopping.

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When did the War of 1812 begin? 1963.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimers Who the hell are you?

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How do you kill a clown? You smash his face into a brick.

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How do you keep black people from your Kool-aid? How? You put it in a safe-deposit box.

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How do you take a picture of a man with a wooden leg? You can't take pictures with wooden legs.

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Knock Knock Who's there Your serial killer

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Carlos was on the computer writing anti-jokes. They all scuked.

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OMG did you hear about the man who sky-dived from mars?!!!! No…. Me neither

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Ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they

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What did the white man say to the group of mexicans when a golf ball was coming toward them? 4!

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A:Knock Knock B:It's open

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, the holocaust didn't actually happen, besides I hate jews

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Why did it take so long to find Osama Bin Laden? No idea. Bad military tactics. Was he found?

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What did one fetus say to they other fetus? Nothing they were aborted.

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why did the black man drink grape kool-aid kool-aid refreshed him after a hard days work out in the field picking cotton

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What can a pizza do that a Jew can't? Pizzas can't do anything, so the answers are infinite.

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What does an Eagle and a Mole have in common? The are both of the kingdom Animalia, possessing many organ systems and cellular similarities. And they both live underground. Except for the Eagle.

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What did the panda say to the other panda? We are fuzzy Oreos

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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