Q. bob had 93 chocolate bars and ate 74 what does he have now? A. diabetes

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a serial-rapist with links to the Black Dragon triad. Yee.

A: How can you tell a tree is an aspen? B: 'Cause of the way it is.

Why did Harriet Tubman have to take the underground railroad? Because she was a fugly slut.

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And then Jesus turned the water into wine. Some did not approve of this miracle "masta, whut is da reezon you did aint make this into tha coolaid? Bible files: Directors cut.

Why didn't suzzana go to school on Monday?? Because it was Sunday...I lied about it being monday

Hah, I bet a faggot that lost his balls in the war is "above" such things as seduction and all things straight! 25 million US dollars, send them to me within a week, or I will hunt you down by tracking down every single one of your fucking followers (all six of them), and make you wish you where dead. And tell me where you live, send me your sister so I can rape her, send me your boyfriend so I can cut him to pieces, send my your children so I can make sure your genes stop, send my your mothers tits so I can hang them on my wall, and kill your father and post the shit on youtube! Maybe then we are halfway close a settlement.

How did the Mexican get into the United States? He showed his passport, and the correct documents & information, and was admitted into the country as a new American citizen.

Half empty = half full Therefore Half (empty) = half (full) empty= full Half empty

An old man walks across the street. Several cars start to honk in irritation, for they are in a hurry and the man is walking quite sluggishly.

What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer? dinner

I need a sidecart on my motorcycle just for my diick

What did the pear tree say to the farmer? Go harvest that corn over yonder.

A student asks a teacher: Sir, how much time would it take for me to do this quiz. Teacher says: From the second I give you this test to the second you hand it back to me.

do u like chicken ? ....no good...cuz its for black people.

The bartender says "We don't serve time travellers here". Two time travellers walk into a bar.

I AM SHOWERING IN THE BLOOD AND ORGANS OF ENDORPHIN RUSH IN ORDER TO APPEASE THE GODS KNOWN AS... ME, MYSELF, AND I!

roses are red, violets are fine, you be the six, and I'll be the nine.

How do you solve a scatter plot? Give a pencil to Michael J. Fox.

Patient: Doctor, it hurts when I run, I might have arthritis. Doctor: Let me check.... 5 minutes later... Doctor: It turs out you have 3 bullets in your legs. Patient: Ohhh, I get it now.

A blonde runs into her house. She died in a tragic backdraft fire. Always check to see if the doorknob is warm.

What starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Porn

A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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