To the 'am i pregnant now?'-section: Yesterday I spilled mustard on my brand new pants. That was just before I went out to some clubs. That night, after I had enjoyed myself with friends and alcohol, while I was walking home I was raped several times by big, black and hung men. It hurt a lot and my anus is still bleeding. My question is: What is the best way to get rid of the mustard stain?

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wats green, fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree, it would kill u? a pool table

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What's black and yellow and flies? I dont know.

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Why did Susie fell off the swings? Because she didn't have any arms or legs.

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Why did the blonde turn down prostitution? She knows it is illegal and has better moral values than that.

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whats the difference between a white jew and a black jew the black jew is treated poorly and is sent to the back of the gas chamber

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What's brown and sticky? Syrup.

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How many sheets did the Asian want on his bed? "You sheet on my bed I kill you!"

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Dog Dog wh- wait how did you knock? *mindblown*

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Why was six afraid of seven? The world may never know.

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How do you get your dog to give you a blow job? You have to force him.

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Why did little Katie fall off her bike? Because the postman killed the bee hive.

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What's the hardest part about blending a baby? My D**K

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What is the difference between menstrual blood and sand? You can't gargle sand.

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What did the dog say to its owner? well as you can see it is physically impossible for a dog to speak english or any other langueges such as french, spanish or chinese.

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What did the us reporter say? nothing as his head was in a isis members bin

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What say the mirror if i look in it,? He died

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What is the worst place to be in race if you're racing with me Behind me

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XD A COZY FIGHT XD WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT? I am gonna kick your ass, break your face and then give you a kiss on the cheek as your mangled corpse bleeds out... XD :)) THANKS FOR THE LAUGHTER XD XD Reminds me of a former comment where you describe the local weather, you know, we do not live that far away from each other, hell it was actually the time, we are completely in the same timezone, so anyway, do you also get cartoon network on your television?

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How many men does it take to screw in a lightbulb...1 How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb...2

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Your mama's so stupid she brought syrup to the quidditch world cup because she knew there would be quaffles!

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What did the mother do when she found out the baby was stillborn? Gave it a proper burial, grieved for months and became a shell of her former self.

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what happens when a hamster bites your arm? your arm bleeds

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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