A baby seal walks into a club.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Why did the sloth swing from the tree? It hung itself.

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if got a joke if fogot it

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Touche.try eating something, I eat low carb crap when I am too sleepy, and today I guess it works.

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What starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Popcorn

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How do you get a baby in a bowl? You put it in.

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What did the arsonist shout out in the movie theater? Nothing. He set the exits ablaze and said absolutely nothing.

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What happens to an elephant when it rains? It gets wet.

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How does a black man cut his hair? At a hairdresser

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If I was, yet this syndicate was a legal one, necessary in order to maintain world peace trough the means of economical stability and such, would this be acceptable to you? Hypothetically of course.

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I played the spoon game. In a white neighborhood.

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Phew, I was like thinking all like "I am really into this guy, we can like chat like this and stuff too right?"

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Help me I need to know how to cook a human fetus by tomorrow does anyone know any good recipes?

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There's this traveling merchant from Flint, MI. He goes door to door trying to sell shampoo. He is having a lot of trouble selling shampoo in Flint because they were hit hard during the recession and now ahve trouble affording even the most seemingly cheap products.

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what do you call afish and a cat? a catfish

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A Lion walked into bar. He ordered a steak Because lions love meat.

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Roses are red bullets are led if you don't take me back now i'll shoot you in the head!

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Whats the difference between a duck? Both legs are of the same length. Especially the left one.

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?!, who's there?!!!, ya fucking asshole!!!, and quit knockin on my door!, my windows are fine!"

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Why is Lindsay Lohan out of prison? No, I'm asking.

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What's half of 8? o

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Why did Johnny disappear? He was sucked into a vacuum toilet on an air jet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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