There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour. Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry." "No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outrageous, fires me. When I leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police said that they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away." "I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar. And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison."

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why was the child crying? because his friend just got hit by a van.

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Why do aliens listen to relaxing music while they have sex? They like to cum in peace. \m/

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roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, which is a serious mental disorder in which I have difficulty properly experiencing reality. It should not be confused with multiple personality disorder, which is a completely different disease with different symptoms.

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Opinions are like assholes. I'm not sure how they are alike, but that seems to be the general consensus.

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What do you call a poor man on the side of the rode asking for money? A poor man on the side of the rode asking for money.

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Q: What did the ant say to the bush? A: Ernest Borgnine

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Why did it look like the girl peed herself? Because she peed herself

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Joe Paterno walks into a bar...he should've walked into a police station and filed a report.

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What did the french toast say to the french fry? I don't know, I don't speak french.

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what did the man say to the sad woman? go make ma a sammich before i hit you again! the women refused and was hit again.

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don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!

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What? I didn't say anything. Yes you did.

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why did the chicken cross the road who's there and the man died of cancer congradulations! your preganant

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Women's rights

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CAOIMHIN. IVE BEEN DOING MY WORK SINCE IVE STARTED THIS CLASS. YOU'VE STARTED THIS WHOLE THING. I WROTE BIG MAC'S AND THATS IT. SO STFU

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Q. Why dont people like rian mcreesh ? A. Because he smells bad and gives off a creepy vibe ...

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Why are humans and squirrels the same? They both live in trees except for the human

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What do a fish and an eagle have in common? They both live underwater aside from the eagle.

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What's worse then running out of toilet paper? Getting shot

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Two muffins are in an oven. And by muffins I mean jews. They both die a horrible death.

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Two pandas walked into a bar. The bar was in china.

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Whats funnier than 24. ... DEEZ NUTS.

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Why did God create Ebola? Because he hates us all.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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