Gerald: Hey did you know I was named AFTER Abraham Lincoln? Gloria: Because he was born in the 1800's and you were born and named many years afterward? Gerald: Ah... I guess I emphasized that joke a little to much - I'm sorry this conversation happened

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Justin Bieber walks into a bar. He is soon kicked out as he is underage.

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A criminal walks into a bar, and shoots the bartender and has his way with the waitress. Its his bar now.

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How did the mouse die It was eaten by a cat How did the cat die It jumped into the bathtub and drowned

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There once was a man named Trevor. Trevor was walking casually through the forest one day. All of a sudden, a wolf leapt out from the trees. The wolf said, in a harsh voice, "Hey man! This is my patch". But then Trevor woke up and realised that his hallucinations were symptoms of a degenerative brain disease.

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WARNING!: THIS JOKE MAY BE OFFENSIVE::: three mexicans wanted to cross the united states borders when they were greeted by a border guard with a gun. the guard tells the three mexicans that if they wanted to pass the border, they will have to do as he says, to which the 3 of them agrees. the guard tells them to go gather a pair of fruits, so like that each of them went their own way to go get some fruits. the first mexican came back with a pair of apples. The guard orders him to stick both of them up his ass and if he makes a sound, the guard will kill him. The mexican obeys and sticks the apple halfway when he screamed. the guard killed him. The second mexican came back with a pair of cherries. The guard ordered the same thing and told him the same thing. the second mexican made 1 cherry and a half when he giggled. So he died also. when he got to heaven, he meets the first mexican. to which the 1st mexican asks, "why did you laugh? that was so easy!" and the 2nd mexican responded, "i giggled because i saw the third mexican coming with a pair of water melons."

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Whats Green and Smells Like Grass? Grass

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What's faster, a train or a bike? A horse because a cow gives milk

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A man gets a new job working for his boss. Later, he beats his boss in a fight, quits his job, and starts his own business. Historians later concluded that the man's life would serve as a perfect national allegory for the USA.

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Don't you just hate it when somebody is saying something interesting and they don't finish their sentence?

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Why am I sad right now? Because I just Sh*t my pants.

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A blonde, redhead, and a brunette are about to be executed by a firing squad. Before they shoot the brunette, they ask if she was any last words. “Look, a tornado!” Then they shoot her.

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So 185 cowboys walk into a bar and the bartender says "I can't serve 185 cowboys!" The cowboys ask why not and the bartender says "Because that would exceed the legal maximum occupancy of this building."

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What did the Jewish girl do when I asked for her number? Roll up her sleeve...

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Why does Apple hate Blackberry? They don't fruit can be rivals.

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How do you make spongebob come to Life? You kiss him????????

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Q: Why did they laugh at the black guy? A: He told a funny joke.

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why did Sarah fall off the swing? she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? not sarah

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? A waste of time because they just be playing soccer

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What is the worst thing to say to a dying person? After you die I'm going to defile your corpse, nan.

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Carlos was attempting to write anti-jokes. He sucks at writing anti-jokes.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue Oh, that's good to know.

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What was the last thing that went through the WTC jumper's head? His ankles.

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Q: why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: because it was dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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