what do you call a black man with a job? dont know, has never happened.

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-Knock! Knock! -Who's there? -Bob. Is Brian's here? -Wrong adress. Brian's home is the first one at your right. -Oh sorry. Have a nice day.

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A student asks a teacher: Sir, how much time would it take for me to do this quiz. Teacher says: From the second I give you this test to the second you hand it back to me.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Yes.

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A German, an Irishman, a Mexican and a Texan are flying together on an airplane over the ocean. When the plane begins to experience engine trouble, they find that there is only one parachute for the four of them! Through an amazing display of flying skill, however, the pilot is able to complete the flight and land safely.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. At what point would a chicken consciously know it was crossing a road.

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you know your just like my pinkie toe........eventually i am going to bang you on a table

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why did the man choke at the lunch table. Police there is a banana attacking me what should I do?

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A: How do you piss off a female pilot? Q: Kill her family

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Two cows are standing on the top of North Pole and in a half-inch wind they're spanking a bottle of coconut jam. Suddenly two infrared gallopping fly past them. What's the consequence? That people shouldn't use freshly peeled lemoncakes on underwater cornfields.

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Malcom: Knock Knock. Jessica: Who's there? Malcom: It's Malcom. Jessica: Okay. Come in.

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How do you get the icing in the middle of a cupcake? Cupcake raper...Duh

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What's worse than slipping on a banana peel? Amanda Todd's suicide.

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What's black and white, and red all over? Old movies that have ketchup on them.

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what did the hammer do on the test -he nailed it.

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Dont listen to your heart all it dose is BEAT BEAT BEAT

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You know what I am gonna come up with that could potentially make me millions of dollars? An idea that could potentially make me millions of dollars.

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Whats the difference between an aboriginal and a deer? Nothing, infact they are quite similar, they have no house and smell like wild animals and jaywalk.

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What do you do when life gives you lemons? You eat them.

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How many babies does it take to paint a fence? depends on how hard you throw them.

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J- Jiggly E- Enormous S- Sad S- Smelly E- Ethiopian

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I'd like to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather did. Not screaming in terror like the rest of te people in his car.

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Whats round and bouncy? A bouncy ball

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theres a black guy and a mexican whos driving the cop

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops