What day is it today? Today. Thank you. You're welcome.

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How long does it take for britney spears to change a light bulb? Fish can not leave the water without dieing.

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Why couldn't the boy watch the R-rated movie? Cuz he was blind.

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How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

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my mom just came up and saw me masturbateing

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Edward Smith had started telling a long rambling joke when William McMaster Murdoch cut him off with "I don't like where this is headed".

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Q: What do you call a fish with no eyes? A: Fsh

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are you from tennesse? cuase you sure look like a f u c k e d up redneck

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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What smells like death and makes kids cry? Dead animal

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Confucius says, I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand.

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A white man got injected by Heroin at a party and got instantly addicted.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? "Dwane!" I don't know any Dwane. Perhaps you have the wrong address. "Oh. Sorry to have bothered you!"

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, Who are you?

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What's better than eating an orange? Anal sex with Kim Kardashian.

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A man comes home to his wife sleeping with their neighbor. This lead to their divorce four months later.

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why does the gay guy like anal-sex? because he's gay.

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What do you get if you mix rice with slightly different flavoured rice? Rice.

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What do you call a black priest? Holy shit.

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Q: What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the car? A: Get in the car.

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A guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for some water. The bartender replies: "Sorry, we don't have any." The man responds: "Sorry, I'm drunk." He walks out.

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Q: How many cancer patients does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, they are too weak to climb the ladder.

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What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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