Roses are red, violets are blue, they really should be purple.

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What did one friend say on his friend's myspace page? You need a Facebook

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What do you call an argument between a Jew and a German? World War 2

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/\ The joke above was really dumb. \/ The joke below is pretty good.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor

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What mouse walks on two legs? Mickey Mouse. What bear walks on two legs? Winnie the Pooh. What duck walks on two legs? All of them, dumbass.

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why did the midget beat the basketball player in a foot race? the basketball player got bit by a scorpion and died within minutes.

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How many dead rats can you put in your ex-girlfriend's bed? 437.

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True or fales? Eddie Izzard.

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A man goes to a gas station to pump gas in his car. After about 7 minutes, he leaves.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Peer pressure

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it looking for food for it was starving to death.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Q: There was a cinnamon bun and a cow out flying, one of them fell.. who? A: The cinnamon bun because cinnamon bun's can't fly.

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OMG THIS ACTUALLY WORKS! 1. Hold your breath for 2 mins 2. Die

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What's the most confusing day in Mexico? Father's Day.

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A Mexican walks into Taco Bell, because it is the only restaurant within walking distance of his workplace.

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Gerald: Hey did you know I was named AFTER Abraham Lincoln? Gloria: Because he was born in the 1800's and you were born and named many years afterward? Gerald: Ah... I guess I emphasized that joke a little to much - I'm sorry this conversation happened

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Q. How many men did it take to build a wall? A. None, the wall is already built.

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Q: John gets attacked with a chainsaw, how many stitches does he get? A: None, Hes dead jim

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There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

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What did the tractor say when he lost his farmer? wheres my farmer?

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What killed Hitler? His gas bill.

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What's the difference between Barney the dinosaur and Santa? Barney Loves you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops