A blonde a brunette and a ginger jump off a cliff they die upon impact and their families mourn for years to come.

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Q. What do humans and jelly beans have in common ? A. Nothing.

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(Mortal Kombat Annihilation) Princess Kitana: "Mother, you're alive" Sindel: "Too bad you, will die" (Troll 2) "They're eating her. And then they're gonna me. Oh my gawwwwwwwwd." (The Room) Johnny: I did not hit her, it's not true! It's bullshitt! I did not hit her! [throws water bottle] Johnny: I did *not*. Oh hi, Mark. Mark: Oh, hey Johnny, what's up?

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What did the Muslim do when he got on the bus? He realized he was in the wrong place and got on a plane and blew it up.

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2 drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff. Bu dum, cshhhh.

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Poker face

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A priest and a police officer are sitting at a bar. They both have considerable drinking problems because problems unrelated to their respective occupations. The bartender's name is Mike.

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What did the old man say? Im old

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Q: where was Johnny during the bombing? A: everywhere

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A: Knock, Knock B: Whos there? A: Noone, the door and the visitor are both existential figments of your imagination.

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Why did Obama give a speech? Because he is the president and people look up to him

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Why did the asian lady buy the large shirt instead of the medium? Because the medium didn't fit

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One time, I called the police, but it was actually a fire. So my neighbors died.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was strapped to the first monkey.

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Question: What is worse then a worm in your apple? Answer: A number of different things I would imagine...

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Roses are red, violets are blue, you have a disease, it's called cancer.

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A rabbit hops into a bar and sits on a stool, he then asks for a carrot, the barman didn't have a clue what he said because it was a rabbit so gives him a carrot to be generous. The bar door slams open and animal control put him in a cage and take him away. The moral of the story is that you should never let rabbits in your bar.

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Roses are red, Potatoes are yellow, ERMAHHHGERDDD PERRDERRRDERRR

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once you go Persian, there is no other alternative

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? Well i would imagine one of various names for a domesticated animal and she would choose the name based on her likes towards nature or an element of nature, being the educated individual she i would think she may name it base on a person of importance, such as an author or maybe a writer that inspires her.

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Wait, I am sleepy as the world which spawned you Nero, but which comment is mine again?

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What are crabs with out the crabs Nothing hahahahaha

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Why wasn't the TV remote working? It was out of batteries.

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68

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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