whats worse then getting sat on by a hippo getting sat on by Matt Ross

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What do you call a black woman working at a bar? A Bartender. What do you call an asian woman working at a bar? A Bartender.

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Why did the black man cross the road? He was chasing the chicken so he could fry it.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are yellow And daisies can be a wide variety of colours.

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How do you kill half the Mexican population? through a penny of a cliff. How do you kill the other half? Tell them its still down there.

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What sound does a dead cat make? Nothing, it's dead.

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What is less funny than a clown? Another clown ... but with fewer limbs.

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Obesity runs in your family. To bad no one runs in your family.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why do you care?

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What do you call a person who is black? A black person.

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Q: What did the air freshener say to the car??? A: Nothing. Air fresheners are inanimate objects

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How many Obamas does it take to screw an economy? What do you think?

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Why did the man have an extremely large nose? It just so happens that both his father and mother had large noses as well and nature took it's course.

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why do the klu kux klan wear pillowcases on their heads? they were going to go with coon skin but thought it was a little much!!

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I was going to tell a joke about your mom's vagina, but that's overused.

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Horse.

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What should you do if reading the antijokes on this site makes you collapse with laughter? There is no need to worry about this because it won't happen.

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why did the little girl fall off the swing she had no arms

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Why did Billy drop his ice cream? The Holocaust.

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How does a person put an elephant in a closet? First they have to open the door, then put the elephant in and close the door. That was easy well how does a person put a giraffe in. You probably said open the door and put the giraffe in and close the door. Well you missed a step first you have to take the elephant out then you can put in the giraffe. Well both animals are to big to fit in a closet so you can't put them in and also the person who put the animals in is schizophrenic and the animals are fake so if you believed that you could fit them in there you might be delusional.

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Who won the race between the turtle and the hare? Well, odds are the two creatures wouldn't race given that animals do not speak. However, if they were, the hare would most likely win a land race because of its powerful legs and agility. However, if the turtle happened to be a seaturtle and the race took place underwater, our dear little beloved turtle would win, having the advantage over the rabbit.

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How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Assuming the fact that these children are in fact deceased, it would be highly inprobable that they could perform any task. Or that they would need to see any light at all, since the point of that dark room is to keep them concealed.

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What's worse than finding a worm in ur Apple? Finding a worm in ur poop

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Q. What did the chinease man say when he got flattened by a plane? A. Nothing, he died instantly.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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