What Did The Kid With No Arms And No Legs Get For His Birthday? A Walking Stick

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What's long, hard and full of seamen? A submarine.

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How many pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbuld? Likely the same number as is required when people of non-polish descent screw in lightbulds. Overall however it is variable based on the number or bulbs, position of bulbs in relation to ceiling, potential shakiness of required ladder, and desired efficiency. Please reference GE's lightbuld home instillation handbook for further information or alternately contact your local electrician or handy neighbor.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? She is a woman ... Who is blind, deaf and mute Therefore considered a danger to herself And those around her.

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If 2 wrongs make a right and 2 rights make a wrong, then when you have 4 rights=2 wrongs, you have a true statement. If you have 8 rights = 4 wrongs, you have a verified statement.

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Why did they save the man in a burning building? To arrest him for arson.

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What do a duck and a tricycle have in common? They both have wheels. Except for the duck.

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drugs sex and alchohole are yumme as AIDS

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Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? He's dead.

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There are two blonds in a car, the driver to looks to the other blond (carelessly taking in her surroundings) They crash and the passenger is grusomely killed to the point of not being recognized and the driver later commits suicide from the guilt and pending law suit.

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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb? It would probably be the court janitor who was responsible for that job, rather than the lawyers.

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I once went to a Haitian party, yea.. The DJ really brought the house down.

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Two lifelong friends walk into the locl Bar and each order a Beer. " So how's life treating ya?" Phil replies, " Well Doug, I've got Stage Four Lung Cancer. I'm going to Die, remember?" Unfortunately, Doug doesn't remember because Doug has a Brain Tumor.

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Why did the woman put super glue on her sun glasses? Because she stepped on them and they broke.

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id give my right arm to be ambidextrous

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I am a dog.

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What did the POW say to his captor? I do not want to be waterboarded.

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: The pilot lacked flying skills and experience.

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why did the supermodel have sex with the janitor? she loved him. and he was brad pitt.

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Q: How do you make a clown stop laughing? A: Hit it in the face with an axe

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What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Nothing, he died.

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what is another way to say tree? A big stick with leaves

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had a gun.

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Every Good Boy Deserves Fibromyalgia

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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