Why was the Asian woman late for work? She was raped.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms or legs? A: Disabled.

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Q. What's white, has an orange bill, and looks like a swan? A. a swan

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A horse walks into a bar The bartender says "why the long face?" The horse says nothing, because he's a horse The bartender soon relizes there is a horse in his bar, and calls animal control

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did you hear about the guy who got his left leg and left arm cut off? he's all right now

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I put my baby in a microwave.

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A man walks into a bar

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You know what's worse than finding a worm inside an apple? finding crack, too late to spit it out.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Whats white and can kill you if it falls out of a tree? A refridgerator

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A bear walks into a bar. Animal control was contacted and the bar was evacuated.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "why the long face?" the horse then says nothing because horses cannot talk, only humans can talk.

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WHY ARE WOMEN SO HARD TO SLEEP WITH? Because the men are always hard while sleeping with them

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You are so down to earth, and never confuse that with "simple minded".

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Fine, ladies first.

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Whats worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm in it Biting into a baby and finding a worm in it

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you give like i give lomain

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There was a man posting an anti-joke... He had no life

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Why was Osama Bin Laden so hard to find? His hiding place was difficult to come across.

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Hey connor and brett its ben, you are both at my house

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Why is the average lifespan of Black men in the U.S. only about 52? Hundreds of years of oppression and a lack of nutritional, liberal, and vocational education have put them in a position where gathering the resources necessary to live a healthy and safe life are greatly is incredibly difficult.

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yo mama is so fat she broke a branch off the family tree

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Do you know why the kid jumped down the 50 foot hole? I dont know, jump in and ask him.

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It was okay, then Alice my friend and a nurse insisted (she can be a total bitch) I take a painkiller, of course that messed up my focus completely and threw off my hypnotic suggestion which I use to shut down the pain receptors. Ironically I cannot seem to shut off my allergy to dust. Oh, yeah it was the standard bullshit Mensa test, ten patterns or something, oh and while I am terrible at trivia, I am actually much smarter than a fifth grader, I mean one kid told me he was smarter because he could do math better than me and he could, so I choked the little bitch to death, who is the smartest one now?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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