A girl and her family were walking by a cliff. Suddenly - due to a a part of the cliff falling away - her family fell over the edge and died. The girl ran to the bottom of the cliff and saw her family's body's strewn across the rocks, blood everywhere. She didn't have a phone on her and so could not call the police. She called over a man she saw in the distance. He asked "What's happened?". Just managing to stammer the words through her tears she said "My entire family fell off a cliff and died". The man unzipped his trousers and said "This really isn't your day is it love?"

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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Why couldn't my grandpa use a cell phone? He didn't have hands.

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Robert: wanna hear a joke? Robort:ok, shoot. Robert: *BANG!*

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If you give a hobo a stick he might poke u with it

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what didn't I do when making this joke? Read and agree to the terms of service.

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The baby started screaming in the dead of night. It woke up his mother, but his father did not be woken by it. why? Because the father left the mother some time ago, and emigrated to Australia with a new girlfriend, who is incidentially a model, and therefore he could not have heard hs child scream whilst on the other side of the world. His new girlfriend dosen't like him.

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A man, a dog and a pregnant woman walked into a bar, the man bought a beer, the dog was put back outside as the pub didn't allow animals and the pregnant woman didn't buy anything alcoholic as she didn't want to risk the life of her unborn child-she had a soda.

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Q:What the difference between a piano and a guitar A: Nothing, there both instruments and i lied about the difference

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Why do thieves shower before undertaking a robbery? Probably part of their morning routine.

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Q - How do you call black people driving in a black car on the black road, then falling off the black cliff into the black water? A - An unfortunate accident.

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Why did the black man go to jail? Because he committed a criminal offense.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic and i am too

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Your mom is so old that she most likely will die soon.

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what do you call a woman who has sex for money? smart.

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Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

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Whats the difference........ Between a duck?

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Q: What do you call a man with a spade in his head? A: An ambulance.

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Hey, what do you call Sarah Palin? A Republican.

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what did the pizza say to the bread? nothing pizza cant talk

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What do you call a mother cow? Moooom

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Why did the bald man lose his hair no not cancer obviously AIDS.

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What do you call a piece of celery with peanut butter on it? your moms dead

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why was the man scared of the tree because it was shady

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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