What is 6 1/2 inches when erected? My penis.

Why didn't Johnny ride his bike to school? Both of his legs were amputated. He can't ride a bike ever again.

What's red and checkered and tells you to turn your music down? Michael

A guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender asks why the long face. The guy responds because cancer is a horrible disease. Oh yah did I mention the guy has cancer? $

How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two, but I don't know how they got in there.

why'd the chicken cross the road It didn't, it was safely placed inside a chook house

What's worse than missing your flight? 9/11

Your mom is so poor that she collect food stamps is on welfare and lives in section 8 housing and cannot find a job that provides her a livable wage

An arab says allahu akbar, people respect him as he is pronouncing his religion in his place of worship

What is red and has no legs? Half a baby.

Hey what did you do on The weekend??? I got hit by a bus!

A gorilla walks into a bar and orders a banana martini. The bartender thinks this is quite strange, but then realizes he is dreaming. He awakes and tells his wife about it. His wife tells him to go to sleep. The bartender is now sad because he realizes his marriage is in shambles

why was the asian kid the only one to get an A+ in the test? He spent the longest time studying and was therefore better prepared than the other students.

what's the difference between me and callum ? a couple of miles.... and id like to keep it that way

What kind of gun cant shoot bullets Hand guns

So coool! How did you do that dinosaur!?

Your mother is so fat that she's more prone to cardiovascular disease than other people who stick to the proper BMI or body mass index

Why did the bartender leave the bar? He worked really long hours and finally needed some time to sleep.

Why were our jokes deleted? Because it's anti-joke.

How much does a dead battery cost? Nothing, it's free of charge.

Knock knock. Who's there? Jim. Oh, come in Jim!

How do you kill a bunch of flies in one swat? Smack an African kid in the face.

An englishman, a german and a ginger are in a band. they play some creative music that some people may find enjoyable to listen to and would like to purchase a track.

An old man walks into a grocery store, but doesn't come out. What happened? A plane crashed into the grocery store, killing everyone inside.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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