A Scotsman, an Irishman and an Englishman walk into a bar... They enjoy their drinks and leave.

A Jew,Spiderman and The Incredible Hulk all jump off the top of the Empire State Building,who hits the ground first? The Jew because the other two dont exist

How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way. ernkso

What did one wall say to the other? Nothing. Walls can't talk.

Whats funnier than a guy in a wheelchair? A guy on the floor squirming to get back in his wheelchair.

A paralyzed person walks into a bar.

Why is Skrillex so bad a fishing? He has Parkinson's Disease

My grandma told me to always keep my head up and just keep going. She fell down a manhole last week and died.

Q.Why did the dinosaur cross the road? A.Because chickens weren't invented then.

Knock Knock Who's there? The IRS. You've been convicted of tax evasion.

Geeks have girlfriends...................... . . . I MEAN alien friends (geeks are losers and you decide your a geek or not)

I have to tell yo people a story and you have to answer it. Q/S(Story):There once was a boy by the name of aids. He had aids because he had aids. He dad had aids, his mom had aids his whole family had aids. How did he die? A: He got hit by a bus you heartlest basterd.

There were two friends, a girl and a boy. The girl had a ribbon tied to her neck, and every day the boy asked her why, yet she'd never tell him. They grew up together, and fell in love and still, she wouldn't tell him why she had the ribbon on her neck. They got married, and grew old, and still she wouldn't tell him. But one day, she said to him 'I'll show you why I keep this on my neck' and she took it off and her head fell off.

Why did the chicken cross the road? She had no purpose.

That awkward moment when the moment is awkward.

What's the difference between a dead baby and a Ferrari? A Ferrari was never alive.

Why did the girl commit suicide? She got raped

What does an otter and a pencil sharpener have in common? They both feature in this joke

Who do you call when you see a ghost on the street? GHOSTBUSTERS!!!! no, ghostbusters are not real, you call the police

a potato walks into a bar. people stare as it is physically impossible for a potato to walk since it is a vegetable

What do you call it when a plane crashes into a school? A terrible accident.

Snape dies. ^ Spoiler Alert tarelona major

What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? Nothing, it's still a dinosaur! Her sexual orientation is regardless. ~kyle hudson

What was the asian person's name? I don't know, I never met him.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...