Did you hear the one about Steven Hawking into a bar? I havn't either, but its probably a hoot.

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Q: What's worse than your parents dying in a car crash? A: You were in the backseat and saw your mother plead your father to slit her throat witht he broken glass because her legs were brushed and a windshield wiper was shoved in her kidney. As you stared on in pure horror, your father did as she asked with much contemplation. An ambulance arrives moments later. In the hospital, you tell your dad that you hate him for killing mom. You run away and he dies overnight due to heart failure. Yo suffered paralysis and now and are confined to a wheelchair for the rest of your natural life and are sent away to a born-again foster care home where you are never adopted.

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sorry about this, my enter key is stuck down... Really sorry guys. Nearly fixed it. Look I said I was sorry! All fixed :~D

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What looks like half an Apple? The other half.

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What did Kane Larkin get on his birthday? Cancer...

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How many victims of the holocaust does it take to screw in a light bulb? Zero. They're all dead you sick fuck.

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Why didn't the blonde finish her book? She died.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Nobody because a pineapple is not a proper home

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why is the earth mad at the moon? cause the moon mooned the earth

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A brachiosaurus walks into a cafe "Excuse me I'm an herbivore, can I have a full English breakfast, but with veggie sausages instead of normal sausages, and mushrooms instead of bacon?" Shop keeper: "No you can't. Your too big. You've destroyed my kitchen, and my livelihood. I have nothing left. You've accidently reduced my business to rubble by walking through the door"

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What's green and smells like a dirty whore? A dirty whore

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whats the diffrents beetween a footballer and a hat nothing i lke chesse

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a man walks into a bar... he was then shot to death because he was a slave in the early 1800s

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so a boy walks into a bar he was underage and escorted out.

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What do you call a boy with no arms and no legs in the water? Bob What do you call that same kid when he's at your doorstep? Matt What do you call that same kid when he's hanging in your room? I don't know, but you should stop calling him names.

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hey i just met you, and this is crazy, i have alzheimers, hey i just met you

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How do you kill a blonde? Drench her in fluoroantimonic acid and watch her explode in a violent and gruesome death.

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Why was the cancer patient often bullied by his peers? Because he happened to be an extremely bad person. He often annoyed people, was intransigent and often aggravated those around him causing them to bully him.

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Q: What do you call a black guy with his degree in dentistry? A: Doctor

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If a white person and black person have a baby, what colour is the baby? Grey

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What would Steve Jobs be doing if he were alive today? Dying.

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Doctor, doctor! I feel like a pair of curtains! That's a rather strange psychological problem I think you should consult a professional psychologist rather than see me.

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What did the murderer do to the dentist? Nothing, the murderer has served his time and is clean. But he did get his teeth cleaned.

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What do you do with a Jewish kid with add( attention deficits disorder)? Send him to a concentration camp

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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