How many sumo wrestlers does it take to lift a huge rock? The point of lifting a rock just to lift a rock is stupid, so why would you get 3 sumo wrestlers to come out and waste their time.

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how do you keep a black kid from jumping on the bed? pick up a parenting book ask him nicely try a time out not care because he's a kid and hes supposed to jump on beds?

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A cowboy walks in to a bar and says to the guy behind the counter "Can I have a glass of water?". The bar tender shot a gun and missed the cowboy by an inch. The cowboy said thanks. Why? Because the cowboy had the hiccups

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A man recently set the world record for jumping into a foot of water from 50 feet high. Luckily, this made the clean-up rather simple.

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LET

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Girl:Do you wanna hear a joke? Boy:Sure... Girl: jesus loves you

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why did the family get sick?? because i fucked a girl with a parsnip then sold the parsnip to a family with 4 small children

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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What looks like a rainbow but isn't seen in the sky? A drawing of a rainbow

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What do gamer see in his nightmare? a peasant build 4 houses and gets stuck between them.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. At what point would a chicken consciously know it was crossing a road.

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No just stuff on the internet when I get bored, like on facebook and stuff, why a nurse? Whats wrong? Is he ill?

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How did the woman get pregnant? She was thrown into a pool filled with semen.

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Why is it so hard to cook vegetables? The wheel chair won't fit in the oven.

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Person 1: what is 2 + 2? Person 2: 4 Person 1: no Person 2: what is it than? Person 1: vagina

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So a Priest, a rabbi, and a monk walk into the bar... And got drinks. What did you think was going to happen?

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Why did the nervous man jump out of a plane? He was sky diving.

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Q.sam is 18 years old, why can't she get her licence? A.because Sam is a lost dog on the street

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PSP its a nut you can play... Outside...

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drugs sex and alchohole are yumme as AIDS

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When I was little I used to love to dig up worms. Out of my ass.

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I am a mime

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue I Have ADD ...

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When you try to go to anti-joke.com but get redirected to Horsehead Network...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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