A man with glasses and a cane walks out if a clothing store and accidentally bumps into a woman, knocking his hat off "Can't you watch where you're going?" the woman asks. The man then slaps her, knocking her to the ground. He picks up his new designer fedora, and drives off in his $90,000 Cadillac. The woman, after dusting herself off, gets the guy's plates, convinces a few witnesses to testify against the man, and informs the authorities of an assault. He was later arrested for assault as well as pimping and soliciting sex. He is found guilty in a court of law and is sentenced to 2-5 years in prison, and is doled a hefty fine.

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knock knock!? . . No.

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how do you get a clown off a swing? hit him with an axe

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How many republicans does it take to change a lightbulb? CHANGE?????

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I'm homeless.

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Q: What do you call a stop sign in the winter? A: A stop sign in the winter.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The grass is always greener on the other side.

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Why does manure smell like poop? Because it is poop.

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Stop Iran! We need the money.

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What do you call a woman in a kitchen ? There rightful place.

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What's more painful than having your girlfriend cheat on you and leave you? Having your **** bitten off slowly.

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What color is cotton? White Well in Afrca, they grow black cotton

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Seven was black

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Roses are red,I love the walking dead,but if they kill off Darrell ill watch glee instead

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A man walks into a bar. He is a diabetic and promptly goes into a coma after drinking.

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What did one ginger say to the other We have red hair

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Yo mamma's so fat, she's self-concsious about her weight and is embarassed when people make fun of her weight which makes her escape to her only friend, food, which makes her even fatter, so she will never lose weight until society accepts her and is not so prejudice towards overweight people.

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Q-How do you kill an elephant? A- An elephant gun Q- How do you kill a blue elephant? A- A blue elephant gun Q- How do you kill a red elephant? A- Strangle it until it turns blue then use a blue elephant gune Q- How do you kill a purple elephant? A- Don't be ridiculous purple elephants don't exist

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Q-Jetski A-How is olive oil made?

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What's Gay and has a penis? Justin Bieber, I lied about the penis

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Peter was sitting on a bench. He had a bag of 10 sweets and was eating them slowly. John and Anthony both wanted some, but Peter wanted to still have sweets left over. How many did he give them both? None. He's that selfish.

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what is the difference between a a person and a book? people can walk

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Bugs dance, so do ants, Oh my glob it’s Adventure Time!

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Why did little Jimmy drop his ice cream ? He got hit by a bus.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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