How many lesbians dose it take to finish a pizza? One or unless she invites some freinds over.

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Who let the dogs out? The burglar, he broke the door and they ran out.

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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Where did grandpa go for his birthday The morgue.

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Whats 2 Plus 2? God Just Solve It.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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There is a bus full of puppies and babies with a plane flying above it carrying 2 tons of explosives. The Bus arrives safely at its destination.

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What happened when the Hispanic man dropped his Wollet? He picked it up

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There was a curtain who sneezed and then asked you for a tissue. He was in a room with two chairs a coffee table and a 37 year old bookcase, why did he sneeze???? Because he had a cold!!????

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What kind of toy do you give to a dead baby? A death rattle.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Chet. Chet who? I probably shouldn't be giving you my name, just get in the fucking van...

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Jake: When was war of 1812? Harry: 1812 Jake: Oh.

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because skeletons cannot live on their own and there is no such thing as a skeleton that can walk across roads without muscles.

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4 men walk into a bar. They have fun. ~Yasmin~

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Why was the little boy speechless? His best friend was just run over by a plow truck.

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Roses are red Violets are blue some poems rhyme this one doesn't

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What do you get when you cross a sheep with a lion? A dead sheep.

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Why was Yabba annoyed? Because the idiots who do the audio description voiceover for Timmy Time on BBC iPlayer frequently refer to her as a male even though she is clearly a female duck.

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On a scale of 1 to Kevin James, how much do you exercise?

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if ruddel jumped on your back what do you do leave him on or pull him offf? shoot him.

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Why was the dog fallowing the fat guy. The fat guy said come.

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L.A Clippers 2000-2012 season!!!!

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Why did the car crash? The driver was female.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a Ferrari ? I don't have a Ferrari in my basement.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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