- Anti Joke

How can you make a Russian happy? Giving him two tickets for him and his wife to Disneyworld.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a jam sandwich

Why did the woman stop running? She was an escaped convict that had been on the run for twelve years and the police had finally found the place where she was hidding. Upon arriving at her house she started to open fire on the three police cars, hit two cops and killed one more. The two are fine and are going through physical therapy as they were both hit in the spine and have a difficult time performing the smallest task. The one was one called billy. Billy had died in the hospital after asking if they had got her. He died believing a lie. They never got her. She is still on the run, I lied about her stopping.

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How do prevent a black man from robbing your house? Lock you doors and perhaps get an up-to-date security system.

A woman is terminally ill in the hospital and her family is trying to decide what her last meal should be. Her older sister suggests tea and the idea is accepted enthusiastically. The other sister suggests making jasmin tea and the ill woman's son also suggests toast. The woman's husband looks down at the orange he had just peeled for his wife and looks up at the rest of them. moments later he shoots the three of them and then himself. All were found dead. http://www.dispatch.com/content/stories/local/2012/01/11/food-tiff-ends-in-deaths.html

What do you call a man with multiple sexual partners? Well, first you strongly urge him to get tested for any contagious and potentially dangerous STD's that could have been transmitted from one partner's genitalia to another person's genitalia which could have very well been he himself. They could be life threatening. Oh, and call him by his first name.

What did one penguin say to the other? Flippty-flop-dop-boop-de-bop. Jazzhands.

Why do black people like bananas? Because bananas have potassium which therefore gives them bigger muscles, which is why they excel at every sport we white people suck at.

What do you call a cat that growls? A cat

Pop Fiction last words. guess who edition: "Okay okay you win again Batman! Ahahaha hohohoho hehehehe! Wanna hear a new jo... Eh... what are you doing with that gun?" "Why did I not just take a step or two to the side during the five hours and over thirty episodes he kept charging that Kamehameha?" "Bah I cannot die as long as my ego is full! Are these really the ratings on my latest game? H0moerotic? Childish? A sociopath? Oh man..." Moral: Your red thumbs cannot hurt me! Im the moralmanBitch! HOAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!

roses are brown violets are brown, who took a shit in my garden

did you know that zach is the coolest person ever? no? well now you know

A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

Will you please answer one question for me? "Yes" Thank you. -walk away-

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: She was going to speek at a PETA meeting about the cruel conditions of chicken farms. I hit her with my car

Why did the male propagate the female? Because he was drugged. Slyly, this foxy female had slipped the male the date rape drug and a dangerous amount of viagra. During intercourse, the male ripped a gaping hole in the female's stomach and killed her. He woke up confused inside a dead stinking corpse.

How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one.It is a very simple task for somebody who knows what to do.

How do you know if someone is vegan? They'll tell you.

what do you call a man who go his head cut off in a car accident? dead.

Whats worse than a suicide bomber? Hubcaps

What did God say to the priest while he was masturbating.... ... God doesn't exist.

Why did the constipated man go to the bathroom? To intentionally throw up; he has an eating disorder.

What's worse than a car going backwards on the highway? A steamroller going backwards on the highway.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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