What did the pedophile say to the delightfully curly-headed youth? If I can't have you, I'm going to shoot you through the nails with a nail gun.

Why did the pregnant Mexican cross the border? Nobody knows. She was shot down on site.

What's bad about the the 3 black Jews that just died...... They were my friends

What is the difference between England and yogurt? One is a Western-European country and the other is a dairy product.

Knock, knock -The door's open.

Where did the two Jews ride when they got married? In the back of the oven.

People who find just saying 69 is the funniest thing ever.

Why did the boy engage in oral sex with the other boy. He was a hormonal homosexual.

Is worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Getting AIDS.

what did the indian boy say to his friend? I wish you were real

Roses are gold Violets are blue I am color blind

This is a story of Bobbie He was fat so he got bullied at school he did not have any friends. He ate a lot and watched the television. He was called names such as big, fat, an idiot, clumsy. But he begun to realise that if he was smart, he could become rich. So he studied hard and hard, but he did not become better at it. So he thought I want to succeed in sports, so he began exercising and was on a strict diet, but nothing changed. He was still fat and unfit. Then one day he knew that he couldn't succeed. So he asked God, what is the purpose of me living, why can't I have something, maybe a talent. God replied I'm sorry but I can't give you a talent. You have to figure it out by yourself. Then Bobbie knew what his talent was. So the following morning Bobbie went to www.anti-joke.com and began writing jokes. Octopus. Bye

So i was writing a letter to my girlfriend on valentines day right ? So this is how it goes . " hey lisa happy volentines day!" my black friend walks up to me and says" its a mightyfine day out! " The moral of the story is... Tomatoes can't fly planes

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

-Why didn't a girl cry after she fell down with her bike? -Because a handlebar pinned her lung.

Two muffins are baking in an oven. One of them says, "Man, it sure is hot in here." and the other muffin replies, "Yep." They later die a horrid and painful death as their flesh gets burned into a nice golden brown crisp.

What's black, white and re(a)d all over ? A penguin in a blender.

What do pebbles and Batman have in common. They're both pebbles. Except Batman.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it was hit by a bus.

Two Naked men jump off a cliff. Three months later, an entire pack of Cub Scouts were enrolled in group therapy. It's ongoing.

Whats the difference between eating an egg and an abortion? Think about it.

In the movie, Full Metal Jacket, my favorite part was when the entire platoon beat PVT. Pyle with hard soap while he was tied down. Actually I am lying. That part was extremely cruel.

A man walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic and its killing his family.

A ghost walks into a bar. Nobody sees it because it is a supernatural entity.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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