what is the difference between peanut butter and a dead baby? dead babies dont stick to the roof of your mouth when you are eating them.

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4 hours later.

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How do you kill a black man? feed him mayonase

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What do you find in a pile of dead babies? ************************************************ A dead baby.

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Why did the clown fall off the unicycle? Because I shot him in the face.

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I work at jcpenny

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There was a asian jew and a black man standing at a bus stop wht do you call the Freinds

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what do you call a young man? a little boy

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whos gay and sits next to me? Griffen in my architecture class

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What's big, hairy and smells like sweat? The big show after a hard days work in the ring.

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Why did the vulture cross the road? To get to the pile of dead babies left over from the Holocaust.

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What did the Japanese man do to the pizza? He ate it.

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Q: You know what never gets old? A: The kids in a school shooting

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Whats the difference between and ? Blue custard

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sally was hit by a bus and lost both arms knock knock who's there? not sally

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Roses are red Violets are blue Theres a crazy ass alpaca ready to take a shit on you

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There's a donut on a cruise ship and he goes up to the captain and he's like "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain goes "nope, come back tomorrow" so the next day the donut goes up to the captain and says "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain replies "nope, come back tomorrow" so the next day the donut goes up to the captain and he's like "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain says "NO!" and throws him over board Theres a couple on the cruise ship and the man was going to have a romantic dinner with his girlfriend and propose. So he was showing his bestfriend (who was also on the cruise ship) the ring. But was he pulled it out the wind picked up and the ring fell over board. So the man was forced to have a romantic dinner with his girlfriend and couldn't propose. So they go to dinner and the both get crab. And when they open up the crab and guess what's in the crab?! Not the ring the donut!!!

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the seat next to you? A: Whatever his name happens to be.

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whats the same about a red crayon and a blue crayon? there both the same color except for the blue one

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Q: What did the kid say after he told a stupid joke? A: Well they banned me from Anti-Joke!!

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Say you are caught in a net with 10 other people in said net at a construction site. A pair of scissors are right next to you and everyone said to use the scissors. But instead of using the scissors, you use your teeth in risk of a broken tooth.

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Q: What do a hockey coach and a bar stool have in common? A: because seven ATE nine

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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