What do you get when you cross a peanut and a snake? peanutsnake

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple. finding two worms in your apple. and being an orphan.

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Why did sally fall off the swings? Because she had no arms. Knock knock? Who's there? Not Sally

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What did the single woman get for Christmas? Raped.

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How long does it take for a dead baby to explode in the microwave? I don't know; I was too busy masturbating.

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Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, but the very next day, your body rejected the transplant and you died.

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Two women that are both blonde were driving together down a hill. Suddenly, the brakes fail and one blonde says "Oh no, we're gonna crash. The blonde in the passenger seat says "Don't worry, there's a stop sign." Then the blonde driver says "I'm not dumb okay, that's yield sign.

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Why Is Six Afraid of Seven? because he is black.

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Q: What do you call a black guy flying a plane? A: A pilot you racist.

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What is in the center of our galaxy? Some stars, space, and nebula.

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What do you call a lesbian eskimo? The name she was given at birth.

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This is no joke. Well, I did warn you.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 cantaloupe.

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Say silk 5 times. Silk Silk Silk Silk Silk Now what do cows drink? Water.

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Knock, knock. Door opened.

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Vote this down and get DOXED

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every 60 seconds in Africa, a minute goes by.

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Stab her.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? 2 Holocausts

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Showcasing you? Really? I am tired too, yeah its daytime here as well, sleep well then. Hey, by the way, when you where like posting a lot of weird comments, where you trying to impress me?

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A white straight man, a black gay man, and an Asian bisexual woman walk into a bar. They are enjoying their drinks until one overly intoxicated man makes a remark towards the group in reference to their diversity in race, sexual orientation, and sex. The bar crowd is enthused with the drunk man's genius in not only constructing a joke to cover all three categorical descriptions of the group, but in guessing each member's sexuality based on their respective appearances.

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How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?  The woodchuck's ability to chuck has been left indeterminable. Therefore until the wood chuck's prowess in wood chucking is brought to light we must leave it a variable. Using the coefficient (L) to represent wood that can possibly be chucked. Then using (C) to represent the life cycle of said wood chuck chucking. We are also assuming this woodchuck will remain vigilante and not require food or sleep for the entire duration of chucking ultimately lowering is maximum chucking output. From this we can determine the W.C.P.S. (wood chucks per second). Finally subtract the remaining wood (RW) from the chucked total and we have rendered that :  L(W.C.P.S) - (C -RM/t) = X

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What's worse than falling off a horse? Falling off a cliff.

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Man: Doctor, everything I touch hurts. Doctor: Okay. Let's test it out by first touching your leg. Man: It hurts. Doctor: What about your arm? Man: It hurts as much. Doctor: What about your back? Man: It still hurts. Doctor: I see......your fingers are broken.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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