Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimer's Cheese and toast

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A man and his young child walk into a clinic to get physical check-up. The man learns from the physicist he doesn't mater. His wife remarries and start having frequent sex and the child is scarred for life. This is irrelevant because both parents don't exist and this is all a constant delusion in an psychiatric hospital.

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Why was the Mexican man in the rich man's garden? Because he enjoys flowers.

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Dear 6, Please stop hitting on me, I heard you've done some pretty dirty stuff with 9. Sincerely, 7

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What's the difference between a stepfather and a turkey? A stepfather is a man who married a woman who has already had a family with another man but the man does not mind because he has fallen deeply in love with her and wants to spend the rest of his life with the woman. A turkey is completely different in many respects.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Muslim? -You can research and find several similarities and differences, but I will not go into detail about them.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The chicken was ran over before it made it to the other side.

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Why did Justin Bieber break his leg? Because, like you and I, he is faced with the same challenges and dangers on a daily basis, and should all take necessary precautions in his every day life.

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Whats the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I take off my shoes to step on trampolines.

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Guess where my mom lives? Utah? Correct Guess where my dad lives? Utah? Correct Guess where my aunt lives Utah!?!?!? NO!!!! Trick Question b... she's dead

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why is a peanut butter and jelly sandwich the same as a tub of fish? they are both food

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What do an octopus and a cat have in common? They are both multicellular organisms that are living creatures, and therefore are both sentient and can perform simple tasks and make simple decisions.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear? The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

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Q: What's worse than one dead baby at the bottom of a trash can? A: One dead baby in ten trash cans.

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What did the young man's clothes smell like after a long night of partying? Laundry detergent, it was quite pleasant

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Why did the little girl fall of the swingset. She got kidnapt and raped by a giant scorpion.

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what is the difference between a boy scout and a jew? boy scouts come back from camp.

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why did Sarah fall out of the swing? she had no arms. Knock knock. who's there? not Sarah.

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What is big, blue, and eats rocks? A big blue rock eater.

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Why'd Sally fall of the swing? Sally's a fish.

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A black man walks out of a store. He was carrying a receipt.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? Nope.

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How many blonds douse it take to change a light bulb I dont know it hasn't happened yet

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Prostate exam > Some of these Anti Jokes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops