There was a man driving his truck down a dark road, half way down the road he see's a man walking alone. He stops beside him, winds down his window and says "Oi mate, need a lift"? The man replies "yeah sure, but can i sleep in the back of the truck"? The driver replies "Yeah sure" later on as the man is sleeping he hears a big bang. "what was that" the man asks. The driver says "Don't worry i just hit a cow, go back to sleep". time goes by and he hears another bang. "W-what was that". "Don't worry i just hit a moose, go back to sleep and ill wake you when we arrive". Few moments latter he hears a tick tick bang. He gets up and yells "What was that"? The driver replies "Dont worry mate i just hit a aboriginal" The man replies "What was those two ticks before that"?. The driver says "I had to drive through two fences to hit the bastard"

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Where did the kid go when the bomb exploded? Everywhere

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Question: So, what do you get if you put a live dog, a dead cat, some sugarcubes, and your sisters panties (HORMONES OKAY? EVERYBODY KNOWS HORMONES EQUALS SPICE! Or something anyways...) In a blender until its all red and squishy? The hell I know, but put some Redbull in it, and its fucking delicious!

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A guy walks into a bar with a Donkey and a jar full of pennies. He walks up to the bartender and orders ten shots of whiskey. He was found dead the next morning from erotic asphyxiation.

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And riiight after you... Hey its always ladies first.

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its funny cuz i laughed!

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A sober Irish individual.

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Did you hear the joke about the deaf guy ? He didn't.

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Q. what has one million arms and tells it to people A.a liar

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What did the guy say before he learned how to Dougie? Teach me how to Dougie

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what do you call a jew hanging from a tree? dead

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Patient- Doctor! I feel like a piece of ****! Doctor- What is ****? Patient- It's four dots on the computer screen representing a curse word. Doctor- What computer screen?

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What did John's girlfriend get him for their 5 year anniversary? Proactive because his acne bothers her.

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What did the pineapple say to the cucumber? Nothing...the pineapple was incapable of speech, for twas only an infant.

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What Happened to the man who married a money? He contracted HIV

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How did Helen Keller’s parents punish her? By grounding her.

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okay so this guy walks into the bar and says DON BE STUPE SHE SPIT GOOD AND EVERYTHIN. why did he say that. BECAUSE EVERYBODY HATES HIS SPIT

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What did the little girl with no arms or legs get for christmas? Nothing, she was Jewish.

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Why did Jimmy never like old people? Because he was abused as a child by one.

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What did the orange say to the apple? Nothing, fruits can't talk.

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What happens when you throw a yellow rock into a purple river? it makes a splash

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What did the camel say to the polar bear at the bar? "Uuuhhrrhrhhh"

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Q: why does batman die in the end of dark night rises? A: he smoked got cancer and died.

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a black man walked into a black bar. what color was the bar afterwards? the same color. its a drinking spot not a pole

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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